Outfit Details
White Tulle Dress | Blush Kate Spade Handbag (old – similar here) | Bella Belle Shoes c/o | Chanel Earrings | BaubleBar Headband | Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick
Changes & The Importance of Being Yourself
Happy Friday, beauties!
This has been such a strange few weeks and I just wanted to chat with you about what’s been going on. I’m not quite sure how to put everything into words and I’m not even sure where I’m going with this… so I’m going to put it all out there lol!
This lockdown period has changed a lot for me as I’m sure it has for you as well. With the lack of “available work,” I’ve been utilizing my free time to finally finish up projects that have been put on hold for yearsss, learning new skills and doing a lot of self discovery. I haven’t been as active on the blog over the past few weeks for a few reasons:
- Lack of time due to being overwhelmed with a new newsletter, YouTube launch and learning how to shoot and edit video myself. I know that I did this to myself – no complaints there lol! While I am LOVING YouTube so far, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by the process of editing in particular. In fact, it reminds me of when I started learning how to edit my photos. It took me SO long to finally get it right and it was definitely a learning process lol!!
- Loss of motivation for taking photos. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that taking indoor photos both boosts my creativity and takes up A LOT of time. I do spend an incredible amount of time coming up with different “sets,” putting them together, shooting myself with a tripod and editing… and I absolutely love it! I love the creative process so much but it’s just a bit too time-consuming so I’m trying to figure out how I can streamline this to make it fit more realistically in my schedule.
- Experiencing unexpected changes as a person. More on this below.
I’m not sure what happened to me during this time but it’s… crazy. Really crazy. Sort of like a huge lightbulb moment…. an epiphany of sorts.
I knew I needed to take advantage of this time for my business and I feel like I’ve done a good job with that so far. However, there’s also been this insane pressure to suddenly pump out constant content since most people are home and I’ve realized that I’m just one person and I can’t realistically do it all without causing stress and burn out. And I’ve been there before.. it’s not fun. So I’ve made it a point to prioritize certain things and I’ve been adamant about going to bed at a decent hour rather than staying up until 2am trying to get “everything done.” And I’ve learned… that I need to do more of that 🙂
From a personal growth standpoint, I feel like I’ve grown more in the past few months than I have in a long time. The last time I felt like this was three years ago when I went through a massive life change. Recently, a friendship of mine ended and for whatever reason, this set things in motion at an accelerated rate. At first, I was absolutely devastated because I really, truly try to be a good person and especially, a good friend. I just didn’t understand. I have been used so many times and I felt like I finally found someone that liked me as a person rather than for what I could give them. And I like to say that I’m usually a pretty good judge of character but talking to people online is a completely different story. You just never know what their intentions are and I felt like a fool for falling for it once again. And here’s the lightbulb moment…
If you’ve been reading for a while (as in years), then you might remember the posts that I wrote about my toxic family. Long story short, I cut off almost all of my family almost 3 years ago. The main family member (I won’t share who for safety reasons) that caused the issues has NPD (but I believe it to be more psychopathic). I had to do a lot of healing from this as it caused many issues in my life but I’m happy to say that I’ve come out of this a much stronger person. However, although I completely cut myself off and never went back, there was always a little part of me that couldn’t fully move on and I didn’t understand why.
As I researched deeper, I realized that I was unknowingly attracting other narcissistic people into my life… friends. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I knew that I was once again dealing with the same situation. But the heartbreak turned into relief as I realized that this was the last connection I needed to let go of to fully heal. And in a way, it felt like I had been stripped of my innocence as I took off my rose colored lenses to see things for what they really were. I try to see the good in everyone and I always think that others have good intentions, but that’s not always the truth. I like to help people but so many take advantage of this. It’s just… a hard lesson to learn. And it’s something that I’ve learned over and over again but this time, it really stuck.
With this situation now a thing of the past, I feel like I can be who I am without being judged and I can post what I want without walking on eggshells. I don’t feel like I’m being held back by anything and I feel this on an almost spiritual level. I don’t know why… I can’t even begin to explain it but something inside me has changed so deeply from this and it’s caused me to not only examine the relationships in my life and how I navigate them in the future but it’s also made me question a lot of things related to my business and my blog.
For awhile, I’ve been feeling like things have been chaotic and I think that’s an extension of how I’ve been feeling in my personal life. I worried about the sudden decrease in my engagement and the frustration of stagnant growth – both of which I can’t control. I also feel like I lost a bit of who I was in these toxic relationships and as a result, carried this over into my professional life and I lost sense of who I was as a blogger. This situation has inspired me to revisit my earlier days of blogging and the reasons I do this in the first place. It’s not for likes. It’s not for fame. It’s not for money. It’s because I have a deep desire to help others. Like really help them. I want to help others feel good about what they wear, feel like they belong somewhere and feel comfortable about who they are as people… and eventually, when I have my fashion line, I want to help people feel beautiful, confident and like they can take on the world. I want to inspire them and motivate them. I feel this so deep in my bones and I always have.
I will be implementing a few changes moving forward, mostly surrounding the content that I post. I’m not sure what these changes will be just yet but I know that I want to create more niche and meaningful content. I always wanted to post content that would appeal to everyone because I didn’t want anyone to feel excluded but I feel that it would be best for me to just do what I do best 🙂 To be honest, it probably won’t be a massive change or anything… you may not even notice! I just want things to be more thoughtful and intentional. And I really hope that you all like it! <3
xo
Also, new video is LIVE! This is an extension of my post, Why It’s Okay to Be a Girly Girl! I’m sharing my personal story, the challenges that come with dressing a certain way, how I overcame what other people thought of me and the importance of always being yourself! I’m really excited about this one and I think a lot of people will identify with it (not just feminine dressers). Let me know your thoughts. I hope you love it!!
Why It’s Okay to Be a Girly Girl: The Importance of Being Yourself
ANNDDD I’m doing TWO giveaways on Instagram! I never do giveawaays so this is huge 🙂
The first one is a beauty and skincare giveaway that I’ve put together myself. You can win over $350 worth of products from brands like Too Faced, Tula, Pixi, and more! Go here for more details on how to enter <3
The second one is a $100 gift card to Tula! Watch my IG stories today for details on how to enter anddd check out this post to enter for the grand prize which includes the gift card and eight other prizes!
**********************
I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s hard to make friends after you’ve had a toxic experience. Especially when those friends let you down. Thank you for sharing Lizzie.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
Definitely! It’s a tough lesson to learn but I’m glad to be free of those relationships so i can fully move on 🙂
Lizzie, thanks for sharing so much about yourself. I think a lot of people have had epiphanies of sorts during this time and I think any opportunity that forces us to do some self introspection is beneficial. Even when it ends in heartache, we are still forced to look inside and figure out a lot about ourselves. We cannot change others, we can only change the way we react to them. I recently lost a really good friend as well and I still can’t figure out what happened exactly, but I definitely felt used as it was a very one-sided friendship. But the universe will keep putting us into situations until we learn the intended lesson! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thanks so much Shelbee! I think so too. What an incredible time for mental clarity and self reflection! I’m so sorry that you’re going through the same thing! It definitely painful but you’re so right. We can’t change other people and I’m glad that we are both using this as a learning experience. And I never thought of it that way until recently but that’s so true. I thought I had healed completely from my family situation but there seems to be a deeper issue at hand because I keep drawing the same type of people into my life. And I know it has to do with me and my people pleasing ways. This is definitely something I’m working on as we speak. Hope you have a great weekend as well <3
I’m sorry you got hurt again, but glad you figured you were willing letting toxic people into your life so can rid yourself of them (hopefully) for good. I went back and read your previous post. I can relate so much as I believe my mother had NPD (she passed away last year) and I didn’t realize it till just a few years ago, but then so many pieces of my life fell into place. Best of luck for the rebirth of your journey!
Thanks so much, Kim! I think it was necessary to fully move forward. Oh wow! Yes, you can definitely relate then! I’m glad that you could move on from it and I hope that you’ve found peace through it all 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend!!
Hey Lizzie- what a heartfelt post sweetheart. NPD people drain anyone around them and that’s the least of the problem- harmful to the max. I’m glad you are bringing changes that you want into your life and can’t wait to read all about them. As for the content pushing out..I think most bloggers will relate!! Keep on being the beautiful you and sharing! Please come and link up on Fridays over at my blog- I do a link party starting at 12 Eastern time
Thanks so much Lucy <3 Absolutely! I don't people fully understand unless they've been there themselves. I'm certain that we can ll relate to the content pushing lol!! I will check it out 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Personal growth is definitely better than blog growth. And also, kudos to you for having the patience to learn to edit videos. That’s something I totally lack.
Thanks so much Cheryl! It’s a learning process for sure lol! Luckily, I’m a really patient person haha!
I love the strides you are making! I commend you for taking the time to make these videos! Thanks so much for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thanks so much Kathrine! I appreciate it <3 Of course! Have a nice weekend!
Taking time for personal growth is so important and I’m glad you have been able to make the changes you need to! I have been loving your videos! You do such a great job with them! Thank you for the linkup!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Thanks so much Jill! Me too. This was the break I needed 🙂 Yay! I’m really happy to hear that!! I’m having so much fun with it!! 😀 Have a great weekend!
It is so important for personal growth because you learn a lot about yourself in the process. This is such a fabulous and inspiring post that it really makes me smile. I hope your having a fantastic weekend 😊
http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2020/05/fashions-forecast-spring-has-sprung.html?m=1
I agree! Thanks so much Heather 🙂 I hope you do as well! <3
I can truly relate to this post so much because I’m going through a similar situation – learning about the toxic people in my life and cutting them loose!
Thanks so much Caitlin! I’m not glad this has happened to you but I’m happy you can relate because it is difficult. I hope that you find peace by cutting those individuals out <3
I’m so glad that the last piece of the NPD puzzle fell into place for you! Dealing with such people (I have a cousin that I adored, but discovered her NPD when we grew close) is the biggest mind f*ck I have ever experienced. (Please forgive the language, but no other description fits what I felt.) I can honestly say dealing with her was more painful than when my dad died.
Looking forward to checking out your video!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
It’s a crazy thing, isn’t it? No worries – you are absolutely right! That’s exactly what it feels like! It honestly makes you feel like you’re going insane. And I thought I had this all figured out but this was the missing piece and the lesson that I needed to learn in order to truly move on and heal completely. Thank you for sharing your story <3
Hope you are doing well, thanks for hosting today Lizzie, have a super weekend. Jacqui x
Thanks so much Jacqui! You too 🙂
Thank you for sharing! I follow you and enjoy your posts because you are you and unlike others. It makes you stand out in a good way. I am glad you are figuring out the steps you need to take in order to be happy and also succeed. Need to take a minute and head to you tube! Busy day here today, lol!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
Thanks so much Mireille! I really appreciate that <3 It's been a learning experience for sure lol! Oh yes, I hope you love it!! Have an amazing weekend!!
I totally know what you mean about feeling the need to create and the fact that at-home photoshoots take a ton of time, haha. And thank you for sharing the more vulnerable, deeper stuff as well. It’s great that you feel all the thinking time of this pandemic has benefitted you and your relationships. And of course, your pic (and that purse) are so cute!
Miles of smiles,
Grace
gracefulrags.com
Thanks so much Grace! They take up so much time lol! Of course <3
It’s interesting to hear all of the revelations and epiphanies people have been having during lockdown. I’m sorry you had to experience another toxic relationship, but glad you’ve learned from it and are able to move on. This has been such a time of reflection, in a good way!
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
Thank you so much Cheryl! I appreciate that so much!
I’m sorry you had to go through that, but glad that you can see the personal growth, especially growth that will help you with relationships going forward.
Thank you so much Mary! I do think this is exactly what I needed to fully move on. It’s funny how life puts you in that position until you finally learn the lesson you need to learn 🙂
Thanks for sharing your journey, I’m sure it well help other people who have felt a bit lost or going through a tough time during this quarantine. And it is awesome that you’ve started in on YouTube!
Thank you so much for following along Lee! I hope that it will help!
Your tulle dress is lovely, Lizzie, and I’ll have to check out your YouTube channel!
I hope you are having a great week so far!
Amber
Visit AvecAmber.com
Follow Avec Amber on Bloglovin
Thank you so much Amber! I hope that you are having a great week as well!
I can understand your struggle. I always think we tend to attract the same kind of people until we recognize the behavior and stop ourselves. SO good for you for doing what is best for you.
XOXO
Jodie
Thank you so much Jodie! I agree. It’s funny how the blinders finally come off lol!
It’s so impressive that you are going through this self realization and working to change yourself and your life for the better!
Thank you so much Laura!
That’s amazing that you have optimized this time in quarantine for your business! Congratulations on your youtube launch! I don’t make youtube videos, but I had to learn how to edit video footage for one of my journalism classes and it really is tough! Learning how to do a new skill, especially when technology is involved is really tough! Best of luck! I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon <3
Jill
https://jilliancecilia.com/
Thank you so much Jill! It’s definitely been a learning process but I’m having fun with it 🙂 I agree!!
Editing is definitely one of the biggest pitfalls when it comes to youtube, it takes ages!
Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
It does take up a ton of time!
Yes friend!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey! I’m with you sister!
Thank you so much for following along with me Crystal!
Look at you, breaking chains and experiencing liberation and freedom in your personal life! You go, girlfriend! I’ve been watching as you’ve gone through some serious ups and downs in your life, and while you hit a low point recently, it sounds like you made the most of it, learned from it all, and are moving forward with passion and enthusiasm. I can’t WAIT to see what’s next for you!
Thank you so much Stephanie! You arre such a light <3 I appreciate your support and encouragement as always 🙂
Loved reading this! I didn’t get to watch the video right now, but I’m saving it for later because I always love your videos. Xx.
Thank you so much Carrington! That makes my heart happy <3 I hope that you like it!
Great to see that you’ve made the most of your time during quarantine and it shows! xoxo, Sarah
Thank you so much Sarah!
You are absolutely killing it with your YouTube channel lady!!! And I am thrilled to hear I am not the only one that’s a little scared and overwhelmed by the editing process for videos. But you really have seemed to master it and are doing a wonderful job!
xo Laura Leigh
https://louellareese.com
Thank you so much Laura Leigh! It’s pretty terrifying lol! But it’s getting easier with practice 🙂
If you need any help with editing video, or anything video related definitely let me know since I am here to help! I love that you’ve added so much more to your arsenal. Keep going!
Thank you so much Adaleta! I need all the help I can get lol! Aw thanks girl <3
I totally agree on photoshoots sucking motivation out of you! You spend so much time planning that it’s hard to feel creative for a little while afterwards
Yes it is!
That’s the way to be … thoughtful and intentional. That’s how I aim to create my posts as well. I mostly blog for myself than anyone else though.
❥ tanvii.com
Yes it is! That’s good Tanvi!
With everything going on in the world right now, it is definitely a challenging time to stay the course…and that’s okay. xoxo, Sarah
Yes it is! Thanks so much Sarah!
Your YouTube channel is brilliant! My husband is teaching me and my daughter to edit (she wants a channel too) but it is a steep learning curve – and I’ve worked in TV for almost 20 years! II wish I’d taken advantage of sitting with editors when I was working full time!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Thank you so much Emma! YES! It takes time and patience! I wish I had that kind of experience lol! Good Luck!
This time in quarantine has definitely changed a lot of my own thinking about a lot of things as well. And I have lost all motivation. I am hoping that will return when (if) the kids ever go back to school again.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
I hope that it gets better for you Shelbee! Hang in there. I feel like I’ve been all over the place!
Quarantine has definitely challenged me in ways I have never experienced before. BUT I’m thankful for the slow and steady growth too. Glad to hear you are doing well!
Yes! It’s a blessing and a curse! Thank you so much Anna!
Thank you for sharing your story Lizzie. I can relate to much of it, and applaud you not only for sharing but also for looking within to make the change that’s going to work best for you. Will look forward to following you on your journey.
Thank you so much Jaimie! I appreciate that <3
I feel like this downtime has been good for unfinished projects as well. 🙂 But I have to say I’m ready to get back into work and normalcy.
Xx, Nailil
thirtyminusone.com
I agree! I’ve gotten a lot done but I’m definitely ready to go back to work lol
I think quarantine has been a struggle for most of us- I can totally agree that I don’t have as much motivation to take cute styled or outfit photos… but hopefully now that things are opening up we will get some normalcy again!
I think so too. Aw that’s great to hear! We just opened up too but I think they might go back on it because our county is exploding with new cases – ugh!
Quarantine has been HARD.. but also so eye opening and honestly so needed for growth I think! I definitely want some normalcy, but I’m also thankful for my eyes being opened so much during this time. xo
Absolutely! Me too. Glad it has been beneficial for you in that way!
quarantine has been an adjustment but in some ways it’s also been a really great opportunity for change. things are starting to open up again and i know I’m definitely excited to go out to eat again!
kileen
cute & little
Same 🙂 I can’t wait until we are fully open!