Today I’m talking about something I feel very strongly about…why it’s okay to be who we are and more specifically, why it’s okay to be a girly girl.
Girly Girl Outfit Details:
A while back, a girl I’m friends with posted about how she was belittled for wearing a pink “girly” outfit to work. This really struck a chord with me as I realized that I, too, have been discriminated against and judged by my girly girl personal style and appearance on a regular basis. The city in which I live is very conservative and many times, people do not have open minds about anything, especially in the fashion arena. Fashion is just not a thing here and I can’t tell you how many times I have been looked down upon because of my interest and desire to succeed in the fashion industry or because of the way I dress. Granted, I don’t wear ball gowns everyday, but I do like to make an effort in my appearance. However, because I don’t wear the same brands or styles as everyone else, I stand out like a sore thumb (and when I travel to LA, I realllyyyy stand out). The phrase I hear the most is “Wow! You look so fancy!” or “Why are you so dressed up?” even WHEN I’M WEARING JEANS. I’ve been called a “goody-too-shoes” more times than I can count and my girly girl style choices have had people questioning my intelligence and to me, that is extremely hurtful. Can a woman not be feminine AND smart? Does dressing “girly” make someone weak? Why is being feminine seen as a bad thing? This is exactly why people are so afraid to wear what they want and develop their own personal style…because everyone else has opinion. They discriminate and judge based solely on looks and style rather than getting to know the actual person and that is the saddest part because they are really missing out on what could have been an amazing friendship.
WHY IT’S OK TO BE A GIRLY GIRL
I’ve had so many people ask ..”Why do you like pink so much?” and “Why do you wear so many dresses?” Well, pink is my favorite color and I like the way I look in them. I also like the consistency is gives me on my Instagram feed. Of course, I have other colors in my wardrobe and I do wear them. Not everyone sees me on a daily basis…sometimes I wear blue, sometimes I wear black, sometimes I wear yoga pants *gasp!* But I always find myself reaching for my pink colored frocks because I love them and they make me feel beautiful. I wear dresses because I’m insecure with my hips and I feel they are the most flattering on my body type. I love the way they twirl and flow but most of all, I love the way they make me feel. I feel beautiful, put-together (with minimal effort), empowered (ironic, right?) and most like myself when I wear a dress…and if that isn’t a good enough reason to wear an article of clothing, then I don’t know what is.
Have I always dressed like this? Short answer, yes and no. My mom used to dress me up in frilly dresses with huge bows in my hair and I loved it! This didn’t stop me from playing outside in the mud, rolling down grassy hills or chasing my friends after a good game of hide and seek. Fast forward to high school…I taught myself to play guitar and joined a garage band full of guys. I felt pressured to look a certain way because now I was a “rocker.” I went through an emo phase that lasted a school year. I wore black band tees, spike bracelets and plaid pants with zippers all over them (if you can believe that). I always felt like I was in costume…playing a part..and never really felt quite like myself. I couldn’t understand it because I loved playing music and thought this was what musicians were supposed to wear. That’s when I decided to trade in my punk outfits for frilly skirts and went on with my life….garage band and all. Even with my girly personal style back, I could plainly see that I dressed differently than the other girls and although I got made fun of at times, I learned to accept it because that was who I was. Another example was when I was told that I couldn’t teach someone how to play musical based solely off of my appearance and what the parent perceived me to me. This has happened more than once and it’s so heartbreaking. The most recent incident was when I was subbing and let me just say that middle schoolers are cruel, especially to subs. My nickname was “Barbie” and not in an endearing way. These 12 year olds flat out picked me apart because of my outfit and because of my looks in front of everyone. One even asked if I had plastic surgery because “it looked like it.” Of course not! What does that even mean? It was like being in junior high all over again.
Regardless of what people think, this is who I am and I’m 100% okay with it. I am probably the girliest girl you will ever meet, but you will be surprised to know that I’m quite the tomboy too! I enjoy doing my make-up, dressing up, curling my hair, painting my nails and having at-home spa days. I wear tulle, sequins, pastels and lace …and I’m not sorry about it. I love having fresh flowers around, scented candles burning and watching gossip girl re-runs. What you don’t know is that I also love being outdoors…camping, fishing, shooting, skydiving, hiking, go-carts you name it. I play a “boy” instrument, can get dirty on the soccer field and wear giant sweaters with leggings on my “fat” days. I enjoy a good session at the gym (when I go lol!), think that snakes and lizards are cool and actually enjoy putting together furniture. But then again, I’ve never really been one to conform…always marching to the beat of my own drum.
The moral of the story is that we are more than what we wear and how we look. People see what they want to see and make judgements based on first impressions. We all have different personal style because we are all unique and different people. I find a lot of inspiration in other people’s styles and am constantly in awe of what they create. I may be the least edgiest person ever, but I do enjoy perusing edgy (and editorial) looks on Instagram and I find myself saving photos to my collection as inspiration…you know, just in case haha!
To be honest, after going through this for many, many years, I don’t really care what others think of the way I dress. I wear what I want, when I want because I want to and that’s the way it should be. What makes me upset is when someone else is bullied for their appearance or outfit because it’s too “whatever”…in this case, girly. You can be girly and strong. You can be girly and smart. You can be girly and fun. You can be girly and successful. And yes, you can be girly and masculine. I think that so many people have these false representations of what femininity actually is and as a result, stay as far away as possible for fear that they will be made fun of over some made up “rule.”
We should not be defined by what other people think we should wear or how they think we should look. We can dress sporty, bohemian, glam, edgy, preppy, eclectic, or feminine yet still be a business women, power-lifter, musician, lawyer, or rocket scientist. And what we wear doesn’t have to be defined by one style. We can mix styles creating a unique look that is all our own. We can wear a slouchy sweater and jeans or layer on embellishments, colors and items that “clash” and one is not more right than the other.
That’s the thing about personal style. You can make it all your own and be as tame or wild as you want in your outfit choices. It’s everyone else that has an issue but in the end, they are not you and they don’t ultimately know what makes you happy or makes you feel beautiful. Their words can only control your life if you let them and honestly, life is too short to be fearful of what others think. You do you and wear what you want because you love it, not because someone gave you permission. How can we be who we truly are if we’re always pressured to be someone else? If we all dress and look the same, how we would be fulfilling our purpose and what kind of message does this send to others about being proud of their individuality? You are you for a reason and there is no one else to take your place. You only live once…wear the sequins 😉
Have any of you ever been in this situation?
I’d love to hear your stories below!
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P.S. If you’re unsure what your personal style is, take the quiz here!