Happy Monday, beauties!
I hope you had an amazinggg weekend! I spent both days playing catch up and relaxing 🙂
I decided to do something a bit different for this post….a desert shoot – yay! Also, I am starting my “Real Talk” series today. I’ll be discussing the difficulty of comparing yourself to others (and of course, my outfit details)
Dress: Morning Lavender c/o (also love this, this, and this) | Shoes: Free People (old) | Hammitt c/o | Necklace | Bracelet | Ring: (old – identical here)
So last weekend, my husband and I decided to spontaneously drive to the desert for some sunset photos. This is the first time we’ve taken photos in the evening and the first time we’ve experimented with a desert shoot. I wasn’t sure what to expect because it’s not a location I would normally use, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I loved it! The wind was CRAZY! I should also note that I saw my first rattlesnake….like three feet away from me. That’s probably the fastest I’ve ever run in heels haha! Nevertheless, I love how the dress looked in this environment…. and the blowing wind was just an added bonus (even if it was a bit difficult lol). Anyway, this Morning Lavender dress is absolutely stunning! I love the floral print, flutter sleeves and hi-lo hem. I paired it with my lace up sandals, dainty gold jewelry and the prettiest shoulder bag for a slightly boho chic look. <3
Now on to some serious business. In the past, a lot of you had asked for more personal posts. I am always reluctant to share too much about myself because I’m a fairly private person. However, I do think connecting to others is very important, which is why I am starting this Real Talk series in the first place. I want this to be a place where we can connect and share stories, advice and encouragement with one another. I know that there are so many issues that we all go through and we may not always have the support we need, so I am hoping that this series will help those that are struggling.
With that being said, today I’m talking about comparing yourself to others. This is not only a blogger specific topic. This is a human-being specific topic. Time to be honest….. for the past month, I have been feeling super discouraged and defeated. Instagram has been acting crazy with engagement constantly going down, randomly shadow banning people for using hashtags (isn’t that the point?), followers unfollowing and just overall, being a huge source of frustration for bloggers, including myself. A social media that I used to LOVE is becoming a source of fear, anxiety and uncertainty. What’s even more frustrating is that I was set to launch my Instagram course next month and now everything has changed. I have been trying to utilize Pinterest and I seriously have no idea what I’m doing. I have been working my butt off trying to find the right opportunities for my blog and have come up empty handed. I see other many bloggers getting the opportunities that I so desperately want and feel like would be a perfect fit for my brand. And I’m wondering why I can’t get those opportunities too. I have noticed that certain editing and clothing styles are more popular than others and it makes me wonder if my branding is holding me back or keeping me from getting these opportunities. Am doing something wrong? Is this what I need to do to be a serious blogger? Being a full-time blogger was the ultimate dream and it seems like feelings of excitement and giddiness have been replaced with feelings of not being good enough and the pressure to be perfect. In my two years of blogging, I can honestly say that I have never felt this way. I have never felt envious or stressed out or discouraged through my blogging. I have a hard time handling it because I have worked too hard and put my heart and soul into this little blog of mine to be discouraged about something so silly. And the sad thing is is that I’m not the only one feeling like this. I see it all the time and is so upsetting… but we allow ourselves to feel this way and it can easily consume our lives if we let it.
There are some things that we can’t control, no matter how much work we put into it. Social media will always be changing. Our blog will always be changing. There will always be people out there with more followers, a better wardrobe and getting better opportunities. This is a fact and we can’t control these things… but we can control the way we handle our emotions. Instead, I think that sometimes our emotions control us and it’s a slippery slope that is hard to come back from. We have to change our mindset and stop thinking on the surface and instead, think about these situations from a different point of view. That girl with more followers has probably been blogging for many, many years and likely sacrificed a lot to get to the that point. You cannot possibly compare yourself to someone who has being doing this much longer than you have. Five months blogging and five years blogging are not the same by any means. You learn and grow so much during that time and will be on completely different levels. And those opportunities that others get just might not be the right fit for you. Or it simply might not be the right time. You cannot beat yourself up and lose sleep over this. You have to remember all the amazing opportunities you’ve been given that haven’t been given to others. We are all different and therefore, we will all receive different opportunities at different times. Patience is something that really comes in handy when blogging and this is no different. Also, don’t feel like you have to wear the same clothes or edit your feed the same as everyone else. Bring unique and standing out is an important trait to have in this business. Do what makes you happy and feels right and don’t feel that you have to follow in the foot steps of everyone else.
In this post, I share a lot of tips on how to overcome the comparison trap. I feel like it is SOOO important to write down your “wins” – both big and small. These come in handy when envy starts creeping in and make you realize just how far you’ve come. It also makes you realize that anything is possible. Looking back, I see the progress in my growth…in my photos…in my branding. I am constantly learning and evolving… and I made the decision to start a business from this. Obviously, I saw potential. However, envy can made it hard to concentrate and slowing down everything that you’ve worked so hard to build up. Envy is a waste of time. A better use of time would be to act on certain things that need to be done in order to achieve your dreams. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should be comparing ourselves…to US! We should always strive to better ourselves and our craft. We should be setting bigger goals and crushing them. We should be confident enough to know that we ARE good enough and worthy of success. Not wasting our time on something as petty as comparing ourselves to others. You are so much better than that.
You may not even realize it but there are so many people out there that look up to you. They come to read your blog everyday. You have made them excited about fashion. You have helped them by styling outfits, reviewing products and sharing tutorials. They follow along on all of your adventures. They haven’t even met you but they want to get to know you better and may even consider you a friend…in fact, YOU may even be their favorite blogger. They show love, support and encouragement by commenting on your posts, liking your photos and sending personal emails just to let you know how much of an inspiration you are to them. These are the people that have given you the opportunities that were deemed impossible and are the reason that you finally get to chase your dreams and do what you love. You cannot possibly see this if you are constantly stuck in an endless game of comparison. You really have to think about it…who are you doing this for? Are you doing this to compete with others to make yourself feel better or to nurture relationships with the readers and followers that value and look up to you? I think the choice is clear. We have to stop letting ourselves feel this way and concentrate on the things that really matter.
I’d love to know when you most recently felt the effects of comparison and what you did about it.
I hope you enjoyed the first post in the series (let me know your thoughts)! Many more to come 🙂
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