The Comparison Trap & Friday Faves Link Up



Happy Friday, lovely friends!

I hope you all enjoyed your Valentine’s day <3 I just wanted to thank you all SO much for your supportive and encouraging comments on my Blogiversary post. I’m so glad that you all could learn from what I’ve experienced in the past two years and I’m so happy to share that knowledge with you. I received an overwhelming response on one tip in particular: Not comparing yourself to others. This seems to happen so frequently in the blogging world and otherwise. I’ll be sharing some insight with you all today regarding this important topic and whether you are blogger or non-blogger, I hope that this somehow helps.

Outfit Details:

Top (also love this) | Jeans: Levi’s (old – similar here and here) | Coat: Marks & Spencer c/o (similar here, here and here) | Purse: Kate Spade (old  – loveeee this) | Shoes: Zara (similar here and here) | Necklace: Chloe & Isabel | Cuff

You have probably been comparing yourself with others since …well, forever. It can easily rob you of any joy, hope and happiness that you once had. It can make you feel like what you are doing isn’t worthy or that you aren’t good enough and that you should just give up. It is in our nature to always want to have the best of everything and be the best at everything…and it seems that it really doesn’t matter how much we have but that we will always want more. It’s not your fault. This is how we are programmed but at the same time, it’s helpful to change your mindset to cope with this comparison fiasco.

It’s so easy to be brought down in something like blogging where the majority of your career rides on how many followers you have and how much engagement you get. I’ve seen so many people lose hope because they see others growing quicker, getting higher engagement, getting “better” opportunities, etc…but they don’t realize how far they’ve come because they are so consumed by what everyone else is doing. I have been there too. I have seen other bloggers getting amazing opportunities that I thought I would be a good fit for as well. I emailed those same brands multiple times and was either declined, told that I need to buy the product myself in order to promote or just never got a response at all. When you put so much time and effort into something, it hurts to be shut down. I was heartbroken, but life goes on. It is what it is and that’s okay. But really, why do we compare ourselves to others?

We see others growing faster than us…but we don’t know the whole story and it often comes with a sacrifice. Here’s a little look behind the scenes:

I can attest that I spend wayyyy too much time on Instagram….and it shows. From a personal stand point, I can say that I have given up quite a bit to grow my account and I put a great deal of time and effort into it. This may seem silly to some, but I see the potential and to me, this is my last shot of having some sort of career in fashion so it’s very important to me. I have given up my paycheck to pursue this… I have stayed up past midnight every night for the past few months to make sure everything gets done… I have literally put everything I am into this. I am SO happy, but feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted at the same time. I know I am not the only one and I think that when you put a lot of time and effort into this, you have no option but to grow and it just happens naturally.

Enough about me. I know that it can be so discouraging looking at other accounts but when you do, just remember all the work they have put in to get there and think about the many years they have been doing this. If you are a fairly new blogger (or not), it’s not fair for you to compare your one year to someone else’s five years. You cannot compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. We are all on different paths and it really is just as incomparable as apples and oranges. Instead, reach out to those bloggers that you admire and ask for tips and create a meaningful, supportive relationship. Also, instead of picking yourself apart, concentrate on what you could be doing better and DO IT. I promise you that you will flourish and the time will come when a “smaller” blogger reaches out to you for advice. You just have to be patient and believe it will happen.

I also know that a lot of bloggers get super upset when they see others getting opportunities that they are not getting. This is my downfall and I will admit it. The timing may be off or maybe it’s just not a good match for you. Different opportunities come to different people at different times and you just have to remember that your time will come too. Maybe not now, but in the future you will get the same or BETTER opportunities. I know this from experience. I promise you that if you work hard, are patient and stay true to yourself, the opportunities will come to you tenfold. I also know that there are probably a ton of girls feeling the same way about the opportunities that you get.

One thing that has really helped me stop comparing myself to others is to write down my goals and my achievements. I’ve been doing this since I started blogging two years ago. I write down daily goals, monthly goals, yearly goals and make sure that I do my best to accomplish those. After all, it’s hard to compare yourself to others when you’re busy focusing on YOU. More importantly, write down your “wins,” no matter how big or how small they may seem. I have everything written down including my first collaboration, first repost and first interview as well as “pinch me” moments and checks off my fashion blogging bucket list among many other “insignificant” things. I also have a chart with my growth from every single month on every single platform. When I’m feeling down or envious, I look at these things and just realize how far I have come and that things just keep getting better and better. I highly suggest doing something like this as a reminder of how amazing you are. Instead of comparing yourself to others, comparing yourself to…yourself. Try to outdo yourself every single day and you will see an explosion of growth. I dare you ðŸ™‚ 

I know that it is so difficult to overcome the feeling of comparing yourself to others, but I strongly believe that you have to remind yourself as to why you are doing this and make sure that it is for the right reasons. Keep your eyes on your goals and everything else will fall into place. It is easy to lose yourself by comparing yourself to others and so easy to forget that there are so many others that look up to you. YOU are that person to someone else. YOU are someone’s favorite blogger and style icon. It doesn’t matter how followers you have…whether it’s 100 or 100,000! There is someone out there that you inspire each and every day. There is someone out there that needs to hear those words that you write in your blog post. You don’t understand how much of an impact you have on people when you’re too busy looking at what others have. There will always be someone prettier, stronger, faster, taller, younger, richer, etc. Just be the best YOU. Continue to concentrate on growth and push yourself to go outside your comfort zone because that’s when the real magic starts to happen. Above all, stay true to yourself because that’s why other follow you and are inspired by you.

I know that there are SO many of you in this position and it is so heartbreaking because no one should have to feel like they aren’t good enough (FYI – You are!). Instead, be a light in this world and continue to lift others up with your positivity and encouragement without expecting anything in return. Just be the you that everyone is already drawn to and good things will come. 🙂

Enjoy your weekend, beauties!

xo

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Link Up Time! Last week was the very first time this link up broke 100 – yay! There were SOOO many cute looks and I had a hard time deciding on a favorite so I went with the most clicked  🙂

This week’s favorite look is from……..

Champagneista



I’m dying over this pink dress! It is so cute for Valentine’s day (and any other day lol!). And that bag is also on my wish list…*swoon*.

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If this is your first time, welcome! If not, welcome back! 🙂




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