I grew up thinking that I always had to have a perfect plan for my life. I had to get straight A’s so I could get into to college…I had to go to college so I could have a career…I had to have a career so I could support my family…I had to have a family because, well, that’s just what everyone else did. When things didn’t go according to plan, I thought that I had somehow “failed” but it wasn’t until later on when I figured out that it’s okay to not have life figured out.
Why It’s Okay to Not Have Life Figured Out
In some way, I think we are all accustomed to living our life a certain way. There are expectations set by other people and expectations set by ourselves and when we don’t meet those expectations (realistic or not), we get down on ourselves and somehow think that we are unworthy or “lost” in life. We get upset when things don’t work out the way WE want them to…the way we planned them to and we blame ourselves when things just don’t fall into place as we had imagined. This thing is is that life is a journey. Just as we are constantly evolving as people so are the things that we want in life. Every action has a reaction and this cause and effect scenario is the very thing that creates our unique destiny. I think that sometimes we get too caught up in the myth of having everything figured out and forget that we really don’t need to be that hard on ourselves.
Things Aren’t Always Picture Perfect
It seems that we are always in a rush to get somewhere in life. We think that if we just had a certain house or a certain relationship or made a certain amount of money that we would be content and finally happy. If our life just followed the strict plan that we had set for ourselves, then everything would be perfect. Out life would be figured out. But instead, things don’t go according to “plan” and we freak out. We rush through life trying to make it to certain milestones so we don’t miss out on our happily ever after. But there’s just one problem with that…it never stops. As humans, we always have the mentality that we constantly need more more more. We need a bigger house, a faster car, a fancier wardrobe, another master’s degree, a better career, etc. When we are too busy chasing after things that we “think” we need so that we can fit into the mold of having a unique person, we miss out on the things in life that really matter. We’re so caught up in the idea of living our lives by the book that we don’t stop long enough to savor the moment. Things in life don’t always go according to “our plan” so it’s important to learn to be flexible and not to rush through things out of fear that we may never have them. I’ve learned that forcing things to happen never works out and that you just have to learn to trust the process and be accepting of the change that comes your way.
Life Looks Different For Everyone
I think this is hard for some people to understand. We are not meant to have identical lives to those around us. We all have a different story to tell and have gone through different obstacles, triumphs and experiences. All of these things mold us into a unique person and all of these things create the unique life that we are living. Every single experience we’ve had paves the way for a new one, which why it’s important to accept this instead of beating yourself up for not living the same life as someone else. From a different point of view, I also think it’s important to respect how other people want to live their lives for the same reason. Just because you live your life a certain way, doesn’t mean that others have to abide by that as well. Not everyone wants to get married or have kids or go to college or have a traditional job or buy a home and THAT’S OKAY. You should never feel guilty if your life looking different than someone else’s. There is no right or wrong way as life can be anything that we want it to be.
Everyone Else Feels the Same Way
The other day, someone that I admire admitted that they don’t have life figured out. I was surprised and found this intriguing as we are conditioned to think that we MUST have life figured out by certain age or a certain point in life…otherwise, we have failed. The thing is is that no matter our background, our age or our gender, we ALL feel like we are still trying to figure things out. We are all learning along the way through trial and error. We are learning how to be first time mothers, business owners, students, employees, wives, etc. There really is no such thing as having it all figured out. All those people out there that you think are so confident and accomplished are still trying to figure their life out, just like you. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. We are all in the same boat and I don’t know about you, but that makes me a whole lot better 😉
Have you ever felt this way?
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