I hope you are enjoying your week! So, this is totally not what I had planned for today, but I’m going to be very real with you. And I wasn’t planning to even write anything out but here it goes…
I had my blog post planned for today and things just weren’t working out. My laptop is on it’s last leg and kept crashing. I tried to upload the photos for a good three hours until I gave up. We recently bought Mac desktop knowing that my laptop is going to give out anytime and I have had SUCH a hard time figuring it out. Going from Windows to Mac is quite the learning curve so I have been afraid to edit my photos on there because frankly…I can’t figure it out. It’s almost midnight right now and I have spent my entire evening fighting with my computer. And I have to wake up in a few hours for work. I’m so bummed. So frustrated. So tired.
This week has been so hard on me. You may have noticed that I have been much less active this week on the blog, social media and with replying to your comments. It because I literally have no time. As you know, I wasn’t planning to take anymore work days so that I could really put 100% into the blog, but I was asked (many times) to work this week and I finally obliged. I am such a people pleaser and love to help anyway I can, but sometimes it is just too much. Just to give you an idea of my work load…the subbing job is an hour out of town. After getting ready for the day, I leave at 6:30am. Classes are back to back with the only break being a 30 minute lunch. Immediately after school, I drive to wherever I start my guitar lessons for that day (up to an hour away) and teach for a few hours with out breaks in between. I usually get home around 8:30pm. Then I need to get my blog post ready for the day, which usually ends up with me not going to bed until well after midnight.
I’m not writing this to complain at all or make excuses. But really, it is just too much for me to handle. I used to work crazy hours like this when I was younger but now that I’m getting older, I notice that it’s so much harder. All I think about is how my time could be better spent on putting my all into this blog and I am just so upset about this. When I say yes to certain things, it takes away from others. There is always a sacrifice and I’m not so sure that I’m willing to sacrifice the things that I love anymore.
This week has taught me that I need to learn how to say no. Like REALLY learn and actually do it. I’m so terrified of hurting other people’s feelings, but I have to do what is best for me, my health and my business. I am one person and cannot possibly do everything or be everything to everyone. I am exhausted…physically, mentally, emotionally. What’s even worse is that I am natural workaholic and perfectionist, so this is such a struggle for me.
I apologize that this isn’t my normal uplifting and happy kind of post, but I thought that you all should know what was really going on behind the scenes and know that I’m not slacking off or anything. I also felt that I owed you all an explanation for the craziness. Sometimes things just don’t happen as planned and that’s okay. You all are so so important to me and I love every minute that I spend blogging (it’s all that I want to do) so I hope that you understand! Again, I’m so sorry for not having my outfit post up for you today as promised. Thursday is my REAL last day of work so I will definitely have a special outfit post up for Friday along with the linkup.
Thank you all so much for your support!
It means the world to me <3