Happy Monday, darlings!
I hope you’ve had a lovely weekend! Today I’m chatting about something that seems to be pretty common as we get older….how to make friends as an adult. Read on for some tips <3
Would you believe me if I told you that I was shy and that making friends as an adult has proven to be quite the challenge for me? It’s true. My personality is interesting in that I am both an introvert and an extrovert depending on the situation and who I’m with. Obviously, if I feel comfortable around someone, I’m super talkative and goofy, but the second I step into a room where I don’t know anyone or I feel intimidated, I sink into my shell and back myself in a corner away from everyone. I’m not good at small talk and since I’m a whiz at reading body language, getting to know others can feel forced sometimes. My position is unique in the fact that I own two businesses and work from home so I don’t have co-workers or “work relationships.” In fact, I haven’t for the last five years and this is the main reason that it’s been difficult to make friends as an adult. Aside from running my businesses, I was a substitute teacher for a long time and worked at a new school everyday. You learn to be independent, self-sufficient and get used to not having others around. Also, I’m originally from a VERY small town where everyone knew everyone and since moving to a larger city, I’ve found that forming friendships is fairly hard since a lot of people are hesitant to let “strangers” into their groups. I’ve also come to terms that my old friends are in a different place in their lives. They’ve moved away, climbed the corporate ladder or started families of their own and sadly, sometimes people just grow apart and don’t have anything in common anymore. Does any of this sound familiar? Can you relate?
You’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many people I talk to that feel exactly the same way. We are too busy, too shy, too tired and too scared to and many times feel like we can’t find others that are like us…that understand us. I love the phrase “some people come into our lives for a reason, some a season and some a lifetime” and I’ve definitely found this to be true. You should never feel bad about drifting apart from some people because as we get older, we evolve making this a natural transition. That’s when you should take the time to find others that fit your lifestyle at that point in time. Here are some ways that I like to find like minded individuals and make friends as an adult:
4 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
Say Yes To Invitations
Okay so don’t say yes to every invitation that comes your way otherwise you might go crazy haha! What I’m saying is that you should say yes sometimes instead of staying at home and lounging on the couch in your favorite yoga pants while eating Doritos and watching reruns of The Office. Yes, I’m guilty of this. Sometimes staying at home sounds so much better than going out, but you will never meet anyone that way. For example, I’ve recently been getting into going to blogger events. Yes, it’s a bit of an inconvenience because I have to drive 3 hours one way to get there and I spend more time in my car than at the event making it an all day thing. And yes, I am terrified and nervous of showing up without knowing a single soul. But from my experience, it has been worth it. I fill my drives with podcasts and loud music and a one hour event turns into a fun-filled day of making new friends, seeing new places and trying new things. In fact, going to these events has actually made me feel better knowing that there are people out there just like me and I would have never found them had I not taken the chance. I walked in paralyzed with fear and walked out knowing that I had found my tribe. Of course, it’s scary to meet new people but you have to remember that they are feeling the exact same way. Just a simple smile and genuine compliment can turn into a new friendship.
Co-Workers and Clients
If you work outside the home, chances are that you have co-workers. You are with these people for the majority of the day so over time you get to know them pretty well. Before my subbing days, I worked at a small dermatologist’s office with a handful of other girls. We had so much fun working together, created so many inside jokes that I’ll remember forever and had the craziest work experiences that I am positive I will never have anywhere else. My husband also met his best friend at his job. They are inseparable and I envy the bond that they have with one another. Not having co-workers is the one thing I dislike about working from home but on the other hand, I do have clients and chances are that if you are a business owner, then you do too. You work closely with these people in a different way and they can become like family. I know that sometimes people don’t like mixing business with friendship, but definitely don’t write them off because you never know what it can turn into 😉
Try New Things
Get out and try new things! Check out some classes, groups and meet ups in your area. Chances are that if you join a class that you are interested in, then you are going to meet people that already have that interest in common with you. Also, look for groups that meet up frequently. Whether that’s once a week or once a month, you’re more likely to find a few friends that consistently join making it easy to create those long term connections. I used to meet up with a local photography/women business owners group and made a ton of connections that way. And if you’re in a bigger city, check out the Bumble BFF app (check out my full review here)!
This one might sound silly but really, this is the way the world works now. I might be a bit biased because I spent a large amount of time on social media, but I have met some truly amazing people this way! I’ve had people reach out to me or vice versa and that little introduction is enough to form a deep connection and true friendship. I have found people that I can confide in…my own personal cheerleaders and therapists. People that understand me and that share the same interests that I do. People that I now consider my friends. And for the ones that I’ve met in person, I have felt like I have known them forever. “Friend material” isn’t always found in your city or even in your state. You might find your bestie on the other side of country or on a different continent and the neat thing is is that without even meeting them in person, you know that you have found a true friend. That is the power of social media.
One last thing I should mention is that you should also be confident, friendly and approachable. After all, your vibe attracts your tribe 😉
What are some of your favorite ways to make friends as an adult?
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