Today I wanted to the a break from holiday content and share something with you all that I’ve been working on for a couple of months – an honest Bumble BFF review. Read on for more on my past friendships, why I decided to try Bumble BFF and five lessons I learned from my experience! You can also get outfit details for this cozy chic outfit below 😉
Cece Top c/o (similar here) | Chicwish Skirt c/o (also available in light blue and pea green) | Elizabeth & James Coat (thrifted – similar here!) | Orri New York Handbag (similar here) | Lilac Heels (old – similar here) | Alexandre de Paris Velvet Hair Bow c/o (similar here)
If you’re unfamiliar with Bumble BFF, it’s basically a dating app for making friends. How did I end up here, you ask? Well, it’s quite simple. As we get older, circumstances change and it becomes increasingly more difficult to make friends. People move, change or somehow just don’t click as they once did and that’s totally okay!
Growing up, I was friends with everyone. I was a fairly shy child but I was still very friendly and approachable, appreciated everyone’s differences and immersed myself in different friend groups rather than just sticking to one. This was a blessing and a curse in a way. I got to know a lot of people but at the same time, I never felt completely connected to anyone. There was one group of friends in particular that I had known since kindergarten – I still talk to these girls but many of them have since moved away and it’s gotten much harder to connect with so many different, busy schedules. And then there was another – someone that I had considered a best friend who I ultimately parted ways with after realizing she was not the person I thought she was. After being taken advantage of so many times, I started to close myself off.
When I moved to the city I live in now, I joined clubs, church groups and hobby groups and while I found a lot of friendly-ish people, I just never felt anything more than a surface level connection (I’m not a surface level person) and I never found people that shared the same interests. And when you move to a new place, it’s just tough because people already seem to have their established friend groups and for whatever reason, don’t feel it’s necessary to make room for anyone else. I never understood this because I’m quite an inclusive person. I’m the type of person that will walk up to the person sitting alone and just strike up a conversation to make them feel comfortable. Unfortunately, I did not find that for myself.
I did, however, find it in the blogging world. I cannot even tell you how many friendships I’ve made through blogging! And not just with other bloggers but with my followers and even brand reps! I’ve finally found my tribe. Kind, encouraging, supportive, talented and interesting people that share similar interests, goals and dreams. Who knew such a place existed? I pinch myself every single day knowing that I’ve met such wonderful people from all over the world! And while having an abundance of international friends is quite incredible, I still felt like I needed to have someone local to physically connect with as well that met the needs of other interests aside from blogging.
As you can imagine, working for yourself can get quite lonely. There are so many perks but there are also many downfalls and that’s one of them. Since I moved, I realized that the majority of my previous jobs required me to work alone. When I was a substitute teacher, I traveled to different schools and classrooms everyday, my guitar instructor business allowed me to teach students of all ages one-on-one for many years and now that I’m blogging full-time, I’m home alone much of my time working away. I don’t have co-workers to connect with like a normal person and haven’t for quite some time. It’s just ME.
So I decided that I was finally ready to give it another shot. I looked into local hobby groups that might have members with similar interests, a variety of classes and local meetup groups – there was nothing that fit what I was looking for. I had heard about BumbleBFF from NYFW, actually! I have attended their events in the past but had never used the app because I’ve been with my husband for over 11 years so I’ve never really had a reason to get on anything like that 😉 I was intrigued by BFF but was also a bit intimidated by it as well so I never gave it another thought until a few months ago.
Honest Bumble BFF Review
Setting Up The App
For a few weeks, I went back and forth as to whether or not I was going to download this app and create a profile haha! I didn’t want to be that person and it honestly felt like the most uncomfortable thing but once it was done, it wasn’t a big deal! I uploaded some photos, wrote a little blurb about myself and that was that! I did not, however, include my Instagram handle, blog name/URL or anything having to do with my work because I didn’t want that to be the sole reason for someone to befriend me (it happens more than you think). I was also really confused with the whole swipe thing. I didn’t know which way to swipe!! In fact, I had to YouTube the instructions because I didn’t want to do the wrong thing haha!
Once I had an idea of what to do, I started going through people in my area. No joke, I was done in two minutes. I got through about six people before it ran out. I widened my location settings to 60 miles and went through a handful of others before running out again. I had a feeling that this sort of thing would happen. I live in the middle of nowhere and if I’m being completely honest, most people in my city probably don’t even know about this app. I swiped right on one person and we matched! But… she lived 60 miles away (more on that below).
If you’re unfamiliar with the app, this is how it works:
You swipe right on a person you want to talk to and left on ones that you don’t. If you BOTH swipe right on each other, a match is made. You each have 24 hours to respond to one other otherwise the match disappears for good.
I’ve been using the app for two months now and I’ve already learned some valuable lessons to share with you in an honest Bumble BFF review.
People are Judgmental
I mean, we all know this but putting yourself out there is SO scary! The trouble with something like an app is that people are basing a lot of it on how you look. It’s sad but true. For me, I went by what they wrote on their profile. Do we have similar interests? Backgrounds? Likes/dislikes? Hobbies? Etc? If a person didn’t fill out anything, uploaded only a snapchat selfie or was vague in their description, I didn’t even give them a chance. I guess that would be my form of judgement. They could be wonderful in person but it’s so hard when they don’t include anything about themselves on an app… to make friends. I feel like you have to be very specific about who you are and what you’re looking for. Or maybe you don’t and I’m an anomaly haha!
Everyone Has the Same “Interests”
For some reason, nearly every profile looked the same. Everyone loves wine, Starbucks, traveling, dogs, and hiking (SO MANY HIKERS) – and there’s nothing wrong with these things! In fact, I like these things too! But I feel like listing everything that everyone likes does not make you stand out to potential friends. I swiped left on all of these profiles because that’s not really what I’m looking for. I want to know what makes you different and interesting and why I should make time to get to know you.
It’s Hard to Find the “Right” People
A lot of people were looking for “gym buddies,” roommates, clubbing pals, mom friends and MLM recruits. Some people were even looking for love…if you know what I mean haha. I felt like it was very difficult to find someone that was a good fit for me. I also saw that a lot of people were swiping right on me but I didn’t on them. I’d like to say that I’m an interesting person but it’s more likely that people just want to talk to anyone 😉 I was pretty ruthless with my swiping to ensure I got people that I thought were a good fit. I matched with a handful of those people.
Starting Conversations is Awkward
When you do talk to someone, it can be pretty strange and a bit awkward. It doesn’t feel natural at all (at least not for me) and I feel like it’s difficult to really get to know a stranger right away just by talking through an app. It’s much easier for me in person since I can interact with them and see what their personality is really like. That’s how I typically click with people and since no one was obviously interested in meeting up in person, I didn’t get the chance to get to know anyone.
People are Flaky
I think that people like the idea of making friends more than actually doing it. I matched with 9 people meaning we both swiped right on each other. One didn’t respond within 24 hours so her profile disappeared before we could even talk. Two others deactivated their profiles shortly after they ghosted me. After talking with the other six, they just stopped responding altogether (some after the initial hello lol!). I only talked extensively with one of these girls – the very first one I matched with that lived 60 miles away – and she just… disappeared mid-conversation. It’s so weird! So either people are not checking their app regularly or they just don’t really want to connect. Only three of them lived in or near my city.
In theory, it’s a really great idea! I can see this working well in a larger city where there are many more people to connect with. For me, it sadly didn’t work out and my issues are not with the app itself. There are simply no other cities around where I live so that’s a major issue as my “friend” potential is quite limited. Aside from the location, it depends on the people too. I think that while most people genuinely want to connect, they don’t follow through and it’s easy to not hold themselves accountable since it’s an app. You know how you meet people or run into an old friend and they say “We should get together!” but it never happens? Similar situation here. I do think this would be great for some people but personally I think that I need to have that in-person connection rather than just putting myself out on an app so I will check out a few other avenues 😉
Also, make sure check out this post: 4 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
I hope you loved my honest Bumble BFF review!
Let me know your thoughts below. Have you ever used this app?
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