It’s my birthday!!! Woo Hoo!
This is the EIGHTH birthday that I’ve celebrated on the blog and honestly, I can’t believe it how fast time has flown by. Normally, I keep my birthday posts light and fun (check out previous posts here) but it’s really been such an interesting year so I wanted to share more on that 🙂
Read on for my honest thoughts on aging, my birthday plans and a really fun “ask me anything” video! 🙂
Today I am 35. It feels surreal to say this. When I was younger, I thought 35 was oldddd LOL! I’m happy to report that I don’t feel old at all but I do feel different. For most of my birthdays, feeling my age has never been a thing. I’ve always been mistaken as much younger than I really am and I’ve always felt younger but for some reason, my age has been at the forefront of my mind for the last month or so. Most years I feel like I’m just coasting through life so this is a very new feeling for me.
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Honest Thoughts on Aging
In so many ways, this past year was amazing! As you know, I’ve been going through a bit of a growth phase in my life and I continue to grow more and more each year. I look back on some of my older posts and it’s evident that I’ve matured. My thoughts are so different. I’m different. And honestly, it’s just what I needed.
So many of the insecurities that I’ve struggled with previously have vanished. I’m feeling more confident than ever in every aspect of my life and I’m beginning to feel more sure about who I am and what I want for the future. I’ve also discovered that I truly can create a beautiful life for myself and in that life, I get to decide who I let in. I don’t have to make choices out of guilt – I get to decide what is best for me. It’s been so empowering! Even then, there are still some things that I’ve been uncertain about and some instances where I feel a bit behind, especially as my age starts to creep up.
One of these things is children. I feel more and more pressured every single day. I’ve put it off for years because I never felt ready. I wanted to be mentally, emotionally and financially ready for such a big change and to be completely transparent, I am not in a place where I am comfortable with that just yet. I’m 35 and I’m still not ready. I don’t know if I ever will be. My husband and I have been married for almost decade and I can’t tell you how often people ask (something I wish wasn’t a thing). People assume that I don’t like kids but that’s not the truth. I’m fully aware that I can’t plan out every detail of my life but I also don’t feel comfortable jumping into a situation as life-changing as this, especially if I don’t have a definitive decision. I also have certain fears that I just can’t get over. The pressure weighs heavily on me not only from other people but from the passage of time. I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever is meant to be will be and I am okay with either outcome and trust the timing.
Another thing that I’ve been thinking a lot about is my living situation. It seems like many people bought their first homes years ago and we still haven’t hit that milestone. A big part of that is me. The timing has never been right. I moved to the city I live in 16 years ago and honestly, it’s not my ideal place. I never saw myself living here longterm and I was hesitant to buy a home here because I didn’t want to be stuck. I wanted the freedom and opportunity to go elsewhere at any time. But many unexpected things have kept us here over the years so… we’re still here. I’ve never felt truly “at home” in any place that I’ve lived in and I’ve been itching to find that place for myself. I just don’t know where I belong.
I’ve also been feeling the need for a life upgrade. I’ve done SO much internal work over the last few years and I think that it’s finally spilling over into other aspects of my life. Lately, I’ve had the urge to change things up appearance wise, especially in terms of my style. I have never felt this way before and it’s little scary. Sure, I went through that emo phase in high school (haha!) but overall, my style has remained the same. And when I say “change up my style,” I don’t mean that I’m going to completely change it. I just feel that certain things from my “old self” don’t resonate anymore and I am wanting to elevate my look to match how I feel inside. I don’t know if this is part of my healing process or if this is just a part of getting older but by looking all of my Google searches, this seems to be normal lol!
Honestly, I think that is very normal to feel all of these things at some point and I’m sure that they hit people at different ages. They just happen to be hitting me right now. But if there is one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that timing is everything. Looking back on certain situations – if I forced it in anyway, it didn’t turn out so great (like the time I was scammed by a school). But when I let go and let it unfold for me, it ends up even better than I how I imagine it to be <3
Also, I don’t want anyone to mistake my raw honesty for negativity. I don’t feel particularly negative about any of these situations. I think that the children and home aspects will come together in the way that they are supposed to. As for the life upgrade, I think this is something that my soul has been craving for a while and I am SO excited for it! 🙂
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My Birthday Plans
As for my birthday plans, I am taking the day off – woo hoo!! In fact, I’ve been absent on social media this entire week and it felt amazing to get a break. I plan to have a full on self care day (I even bought a bath pillow for my bubble bath!) and watch a movie, read a book, or maybe even take a nap. Honestly, I’m just going to do whatever I want and I can’t wait! 🙂
This weekend, I’ll probably hang out with my mom and husband and next week, we are off to celebrate in Carmel by-the-Sea. Most years, we have traveled for our birthdays instead of buying gifts but with the world situation, it was a bit impossible for the last few years. I am so happy to get away for a few days!
Anddd since this was a special year, I bought myself a special gift – a piano, something that I have been waiting my entire life to own. I hardly buy myself anything ever and I have been putting this off for a longggggg time, but I did it. The piano is actually the first instrument that I learned. Growing up, my mom played often and I learned by imitating her. This is something that I’m going to treasure!
But what’s even more special is that I just got a Happy Birthday call from my brother (literally as I’m typing out this post). He will be deploying soon and I don’t know if we will see him before he goes. This 2 minute phone call was seriously the best gift!
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Ask Me Anything Video
I definitely don’t want to end this post on a serious note haha! I asked you all to submit your most burning questions on Instagram and I answered them for you in a video! It covers everything from personal life, love and career to fashion, beauty and travel. Enjoy!
Overall, I am LOVING my 30s! I’ve stopped obsessing and stressing out about certain things and I’m taking each day as it comes rather than feeling the need to plan out the next 25 years. I have a deeper appreciation of everything around me and I now truly understand what it means to love myself (awww!). I feel SO much more confident than I did in my 20s and I experienced growth that I never thought possible for myself. As I turn the page to year 35, I could not be more excited for what’s to come. I just know that 35 is going to be a year to remember (in the best way). <3
Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey!!
Cheers!!
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Happy birthday Lizzie! Thank you for bearing your soul. I like that you are self aware and not falling to the pressures of the world around you. Trusting that things will work out is the right approach. I laughed at the beginning when you said you thought 35 was old a while ago Wait till you get to 50. Lol! Enjoy your quiet time and thanks for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thanks so much Kathrine! I really appreciate that. I think that forcing things to happen is never a good thing so I’m just going to let them happen as they should 🙂 LOL!! It’s so funny how we perceive age when we’re younger! Of course <3
Happy Birthday! There are so many pressures coming at us from all angles, I think it’s important to trust things will fall into place. Enjoy your birthday celebrations this weekend!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Thanks so much Jill! That is so true. Thank you for the encouragement <3
Happy birthday Lizzie! I’m writing it down so next you I can actually send you a card!
Jennifer
Curated by Jennifer
Thanks so much Jennifer!! Aw yes, I would love that! When is yours?
Happy birthday!! What a great post to read. I think listening to what you’re heart says is a good thing. I wished I had done that more.
Thanks so much Nancy! I appreciate that so much <3
Happy Birthday 🥳 Your honesty here is refreshing to see. By the way, you don’t have to explain yourself or feel you have to say what your discussing might come off as negative. It really doesn’t at all. You definitely don’t need to feel pressured to have children or buy a house right away. Whatever your situation do what makes you feel most at ease. And plan what fits into your lifestyle. Never follow the crowd stick with what truly makes you unique. Put it this way, I noticed people sometimes do the same kind of posts and it comes across generic and boring. But when you step away and look you see your unique topics are a lot more lively and fun. Stick to your formula that makes you so special. Never duplicate what everyone else is doing. I hope your having a lovely weekend. And I hope you get everything and more cake 🎂 for your birthday 🎉 https://www.bauchlefashion.com/2022/05/summers-edition-mays-hottest-style-drops.html?m=1
Thanks so much Heather! I appreciate that. This is really great advice!! I feel like I’ve never been one to jump on the bandwagon – I’ve always just gone my own way. It’s harder at times but well worth it in the end. It can be hard to carve your own path sometimes so this is just what I needed to hear 🙂
That’s true. Glad you had a great birthday 🥳
Wishing you a very happy birthday, my beautiful friend. You are such an inspiration and you absolutely are going to find your place exactly when you are supposed to find it! The whole kid thing, either way you go about it you reach a point where you can’t undo your decision, so absolutely you should approach it in whatever makes you the most comfortable! I never wanted kids until I was 36. Then I had 2 and I do imagine (with envy) what life without kids would be like…Stay true to you and trust the universe and happiness will prevail! Oh, and congratulations on your new piano! I hope you find hours of respite getting lost in your music.
Shelbee
Thanks so much Shelbee! I appreciate that so much. That is very true and definitely something to think about. I never thought about it that way! I will absolutely trust that whatever is meant to happen, will. I am loving it so far! It’s been years since I even touched one so it’s nice to know that I can now play whenever I want!! <3
Well I was going to say have a fabulous birthday, but I can see that’s what you’re already doing. So gorgeous!
Hehe! Thanks so much Leah 🙂 I appreciate it!
Have a wonderful birthday. My main comment is ‘the piano’ what a marvellous thing to gift yourself, I put that same thing off for so so long until it became not feasible at all. Enjoy for me Lizzie!
Pamela
http://www.style-yourself-confident.com
Thanks so much Pamela!! Awww! I do hope you get yours one day!! I got an electronic piano w/ weighted keys. It looks and feels like the real thing without the tuning and price tag! I would look into it 🙂
You’ve given me motivation dear Lizzie, but you have obviously played before, I have not! I am now looking around at piano courses for seniors!!!
Happy birthday, lady! To me, 35 and 36 were some of the best years—you have the lessons your 20s and early 30s learned, and you still have a lot of possibilities ahead of you in terms of career, family, etc. Have a fabulous time in Carmel by the Sea!
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
Thanks so much Cheryl! That is so true. I am really enjoying my 30s so far and I feel like the best has yet to come 🙂 I can’t wait!!
Happy Birthday!!
Thanks so much Kim!
Happy Birthday! May the year to come be full of joy and laughter!
Aw Thanks so much girlie! How are you doing? I appreciate it <3
I’ve seen a few bamboo expandable tub trays which hold a book upright, so you don’t drop it in the water. Plus it will hold a glass of wine and a scented candle. Treat yourself to a Spa Day and let your cares soak away. Have fun on your big day.
Oooo yes! I almost got on! I just got a bath pillow for my bubble baths but I may have to go ahead and get the tray as well. Thanks for the recommendation!
I’m so glad you are feeling more and more confident and secure in yourself. That can be so difficult to do! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Aw Thanks so much Laura! Me too 🙂 I appreciate it!
Well, first of all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a few days late now). I’m so glad that you took some time off social media and you get to travel to celebrate 🙂 I hope that time away is spectacular. Also YAY for a piano!!! That’s a wonderful gift to yourself. It was awesome reading this and learning more about who you are NOW and what you want for yourself in the future. I can’t wait to continue following you and your journey and seeing how things change for you over the next few years 🙂
Thanks so much Stephanie! Me too 🙂 We are definitely looking forward to a few days away! Absolutely! Sometimes it just helps to get it all out haha! But it seems like we’ve all experienced similar things so that definitely helps. I am excited too!
Happy Happy birthday! Enjoy the day off! I loved these questions so fun!
Thanks so much Neely! Glad you enjoyed <3
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, sweet Lizzie! I think taking it day by day is the best advice– don’t feel that you haven’t done something by a certain age or compare yourself. We’re all on a different journey 🙂 – Amanda, http://www.agoodhueblog.com
Thanks so much Amanda! I appreciate that. We certainly are!! I’m learning to enjoy the process <3
Happy birthday Lizzie! You’ve got some pressing questions about your future but you’ve done so extraordinarily well in identifying who you are and what’s important to you x
Thanks so much Gail! I appreciate this so much. Thank you for the encouragement!
Happy birthday! I had similar thoughts on aging when I turned 30 – suddenly, a lot of the insecurities I had in my twenties just didn’t seem worth fretting over anymore and it’s awesome! Ditto with children. My family is starting to put on the pressure with having children. In my 20s, I could only say I’m not sure, but the older I get, the more sure I realize being a mom is just not for me.
Thanks so much Deborah! It’s funny because I haven’t had any of these thoughts until now. And yes, the insecurities are pretty much gone – love that!! I know the pressure too well! My husband and I have been married almost a decade and we get this all the time. I still don’t know where I stand on it. I know that there’s never a “perfect” time but I have a lot of thoughts around it and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready. Good for you for recognizing that being a mom is not your priority. It’s hard for us because people think that there’s something wrong if you don’t want (or have) kids by a certain age. I wish it was more normalized!
I hope you had a wonderful birthday! I would love to have a piano – I always had one at my mum’s and had lessons until I was in my mid 20s. I can’t remember how to play any of the pieces I learned though. It’s funny really because I remember how to play some of the classical guitar pieces I learned in my teens, it’s like my fingers remember the shapes. I was almost 35 when I had Isobel, you have to be completely ready for such a big life change because while they are lovely they’re also incredibly hard work! She will be 13 in a couple of days…it’s hard to believe! Thanks for linking up!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Thank you so much Emma! I had one growing up but it’s far too heavy to move anywhere lol. I waited for a good 16 years before getting my own and I’m so glad that I finally got it! I never had lessons though – I just play by ear but it’s really relaxing. That’s incredible! You should definitely get one someday 🙂
Oh yes, I play guitar too! I like to call it muscle memory – it’s almost like no matter how much time goes by, you never really “forget” how to play (or at least your fingers don’t). It may take a bit of practice but you learn much faster and everything comes back.
Thank you so much for sharing that! It seems like many women are waiting to have children until they’re older these days. I thought that I would know when I was ready but I haven’t quite got to that point yet. I figure that if I’m not 100% sure that I want to have a child, then I should wait a bit longer. I hope she had a great 13th birthday! <3
Happy belated birthday!!! Always do something Really Stupid on your birthday so you will have something to remember it for! LOL I am 63, and I well remember 35! (30 was the worst, by the way- I had no hair due to an illness, & was wearing a wig, went dancing with my BFF, was asked to dance by a cute UN soldier, & my wig took flight in the middle of a spin and sailed across the bar room… after which I tripped on the stairs, twisted something badly, and limped for 6 months!) It’s all been more or less uphill from that nightmare, although 50 was pretty horrible, too. LOL. I remember being Really Depressed when I turned 36, as I was now, Officially Pushing Forty, and I made the mistake of telling my mother. “It beats the hell out of not turning 36” she said. It was like getting hit in the face with a wet towel, but it’s the truth! And I have looked at every birthday since differently… I am not riotously crazy about being 63- I’d really like to be 42 again, back when I was a Serious Hottie, LOL- but hey: it sure as hell beats the alternative!
Aw Thank you so much Elisse!! I love that advice hehe! That’s definitely a good way to make it memorable 🙂 Oh no!! I’m sorry to hear that you had a terrible 30th birthday 🙁 That sounds so painful (but on the bright side, now you have this gem of a story to tell lol!). I’m glad that your birthday celebration have gotten much better for the most part.
Wow that it a really great way to look at it! I think many of look at aging as something to fear (our “looks, energy and youth” slipping away) but it’s actually a beautiful thing to celebrate that we are still here and embracing all of the wisdom and self-assurance that comes with age. And you look gorgeous as ever!!