How I Overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

 

Today I’m chatting all about beauty standards. This is something I’ve wanted to share for quite a while and this will probably be one of my most vulnerable posts. Are they ever going away? How can we overcome them? Read on for my honest thoughts about beauty standards in America, how they have affected me personally and how I’ve overcome the pressure to be “perfect.”

 

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How I Overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

 

 

Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

 

Different Eras of Beauty Standards

 

Where do I even begin with this. Beauty standards have been around since the dawn of time basically and every era has their own standard of what is considered beautiful and this continues to change. In the 1920s, thinner lips, brows and figures were in. The 1950s introduced more curves. The 1970s were all about looking more natural whereas the 1980s were anything but.

I came of age in the early 2000s where my body most definitely did not fit the beauty standard of the time (or low-rise jeans haha!). But as time has gone on, we’ve swung completely in the opposite direction where bodies and facial features have became even more volumptuous. But here’s the thing, as beauty standards change, not everyone is going to fit into what society deems as beautiful during that specific period time as we are all unique.. which in my opinion is incredible. I have always truly felt that everyone has their own unique beauty to them. However, TikTok and other platforms say otherwise.

Today’s Beauty Standards

 

We are currently living in a world where everyone wants to look like a Bratz doll, where nine year olds are worried about aging (have you heard about the Sephora kids?), and where most of us don’t even know where we fit in because there’s so much pressure to look and be perfect. Some people are even risking their lives to live up to these unrealistic beauty standards!

 

My Story: Striving for Perfection

 

Something I have had to overcome in my life is my obsession with perfectionism. As an artist, musician, and overall type A personality, everything in my life had to be planned out to the T and everything I did had to be perfect. I was very hard on myself… until I wasn’t anymore. I let go of that a just few years ago when I let go of a lot of other things in my life. Perfection simply does not exist and when everyone else realizes this, beauty standards will be non-existent.

My beauty standard struggles go back to when I was just a kid. And honestly when you think about it, as a child, you don’t even realize that anything is wrong with you unless someone else points it out. And by wrong, I don’t mean that it’s actually wrong – it’s just perceived as “different.”

I’ve heard it all – I’m too short, my hips are too wide, my hair is too thin, my face is too round, my lips are too big, my eyes are too small. Constantly, I had family members and friends talk about how “chubby” I was. I had a close friend that told me that if I would actually be pretty if I got my nose done because my nose was too wide. I had a teacher that compared my large teeth to Chiclet gum… which sounds funny but it was actually hurtful at the time because I was made fun of for my smile. Every part of me was picked apart… over and over and over. Suddenly it makes a lot of sense as to why people want to change every aspect of themselves to fit into some superficial mold that doesn’t even exist.

But even then, I’ve never felt compelled enough to make any permanent changes to how I look. You might be surprised but I’ve focused all of my efforts on trying to age naturally. And by natural, that doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything at all. I still want to take of myself as best as I can. I’m a huge advocate of sunscreen, skincare, self-care routines and just focusing on my overall health and well-being in a positive way.

 

 

Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Beauty Standards and Social Media

Although I have a positive mindset now, it wasn’t always this way. For the majority of my life – up until just a few years ago, I struggled immensely with my self-confidence and self-esteem. Although I was criticized by others, my own worst critic was myself.
I know I’m not the only one and it’s so much harder today. On TV, in movies, on numerous apps – we are told how to look in order to be considered beautiful. I truly don’t know how younger generations are doing it! I feel for you guys. Truly. There is so much pressure to look a certain way and people of all ages are stuck in the comparison trap. And this is not only for women. Men are suffering from these beauty standards as well. It is so heartbreaking all around.
As a content creator for the last decade, I have seen so many changes in this arena including an increase of online bullying. I’ve had my own experience with this that I will touch on in a bit. But as I mentioned earlier, people don’t realize there’s anything wrong with them until it’s pointed out by someone else… which leads us to the search for perfection through filters.

Our Obsession with Filters

It is hard to find content online that has not been photoshopped or filtered. And this is a problem because people are comparing themselves to something that doesn’t exist. Personally, I don’t use filters for this very reason. I feel like it sends the wrong message. I would never want to make anyone feel bad or cause them to compare themselves. And after all the hard work I did on my interior to heal my confidence, I also don’t want to get back to to a place where I pick myself and feel self-conscious about just existing.
Some people are probably going to disagree but I think that most filter use comes from a lack of self-esteem. Of course, I’m all about artistic integrity and making things look aesthetically pleasing – that’s kind of my thing but I really do think this is different. I mean, you are now seeing people putting filters on their babies and toddlers!! There are some that wouldn’t dream of posting a photo or video without some sort of filter on top. It’s crazy how advanced technology has gotten.
We don’t even really know what people look like half the time in real-life. And if that is someone’s perogative, that’s totally fine – I’m all about everyone making their own choices. The issue comes when other people are constantly comparing themselves to a filtered video or photoshopped image. Why are we jumping through hoops and comparing ourselves to filtered images of other people when they themselves don’t even look like that?
Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Plastic Surgery Trends

And then there are others that feel the need to make more permanent choices. Plastic surgery is nothing new and honestly, while I don’t have any enhancements myself, I’m not against others doing whatever they feel is best for them. I will never judge someone for that. However, people are no longer just making these decisions out of medical necessity or even because it’s something that they themselves want. It’s one thing to enhance yourself in a way that feels authentic to you but it’s another to feel completely pressured to do something because otherwise, you feel that you will be seemingly ostracized from society.
As someone that grew up fashion obsessed, I’m no stranger to trends. Sometimes I’ll jump on a trend because it’s in line with my style and other times, I’ll skip it because I know that a new trend is just around the corner. That’s the thing about trends, they don’t last. Just like different eras have specific trends for fashion, there are also specific trends for beauty and beauty standards. Knowing that, I’m not sure how comfortable I would feel about some of these trending procedures.
One thing that is currently trending is the Bratz doll look. People are basically making themselves into a real life filter. And yes, I think everyone looks gorgeous but this is not the only way to be beautiful. I think that’s where the disconnect is. When you go on TikTok or Instagram or even here onYoutube, you’ll see a lot of gals with the same look. Some might feel that’s it’s truly them while some may have felt pressured to look like others that are considered beautiful by societies standards.
And if this makes you feel bad about yourself, please don’t. Like I said, everyone is beautiful with their own uniqueness and I do not mean that in a cheesy way. Just know that a new trend is always around the corner and a new era of beauty will take the place of this one. Knowing that, I think that everyone should just do what they feel is most authentic to them… and others should respect that. If we stop pointing out each other’s perceived flaws, we would all be so much happier, don’t you think?
Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

The Rise of Internet Trolls

 

There’s also a huge disconnect here too. People are preaching about American beauty standards being unattainable while simultaneously making fun others for not meeting these very same standards. While I’ve been a content creator for almost a decade, YouTube is a newer platform for me. I’ve found the absolute BEST community on there but like most YouTubers, I’ve also been met with some trolls (not so much on here, thankfully!). Over the past few years, I’ve been made fun of for the way I laugh, the way I talk, the way I dress and the way I look.

I’ve had people tell me that I need plastic surgery and I’ve had others tell me that I have too much plastic surgery. Someone even asked me what the holes in my face were because other people smooth their face into oblivion. In case you’re wondering, I’m talking about pores… a completely normal thing that everyone has! I’ve had comments on my “veneers,” my “face lift” and my “lip injections”… all of which are non-existent because news flash, this is the way I look. This is my face… the same one I was born with.

Let me be the first to tell you that I have not had anything done whatsoever. No plastic surgery, no fillers, no botox, nothing. What you see here is what you get in person. The extent of my treatments is a skincare routine, beauty tools, healthy lifestyle choices and genetics. That’s it. Not to say that there is an issue with any of the prior things or that I am against them in any way because I’m not – but they are not for me at this point in my life and I do not judge anyone that utilizes them.

I think that most people feel a strong desire to make that decision before they do and I have just never had that desire. Could I look better? Probably. But I also wouldn’t look like myself. The traits that I was made fun of for when I was younger are part of my heritage. My wide nose that my friend made of me for – that’s from my grandfather. My crooked smile and lips? Those are from my dad. My tiny little eyes? Those are from my mom. They all tell a story of how I came to be and these are the features from my ancestors that make me truly unique.

That’s why it makes me sad when strangers feel the need to spew their unwarranted thoughts about my looks… in my videos, on my channel. This is my little bubble on the internet and the negativity is not necessary nor wanted. It makes it even worse when people comment on my “plastic surgery face” and I haven’t had anything done and I try really hard to take care of myself in a natural way. In fact, now that I think about it… I’ve heard this in person too so maybe it’s just my face haha!

Either way, making fun of people is never okay. I know that some people will say that influencers are fair game because they put their lives out for the world to see and I understand your point. However, this is happening to everyone – not just influencers. And thank goodness, I have healed that part of myself because had this been in the past, these types of comments would have caused me to completely give up on my career and go in a downward spiral. You have to understand that sometimes people are just mean and you can’t always control what they say. It also doesn’t make it true.

 

 

 

Feminine fashion blogger Elizabeth Hugen of Lizzie in Lace shares her thoughts on American beauty standards and how she overcame Unrealistic Beauty Standards

 

Outfit Details

Pink Floral JessaKae Dress c/o | Pink QueenMee Hair Bow (Use LIZZIE10 for 10% off!) | Pink Free People Bow Necklace (similar) | Pearl Sequin Jewelry Bracelet | Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick | Halo Hair Extension (use LIZZIEINLACE for $25 off!) | Business & Pleasure Blanket (similar) | Cream Parisol | Pink Feather Fan | Picnic Basket (similar)

 

 

 

 

How to Overcome Beauty Standards

 

So where do we go from here? How to we actually overcome beauty standards? Honestly, I don’t think that society will ever completely give up beauty standards. I think it will change over time as it always has. Instead, I think it’s more important than ever to become comfortable with who you are. And if you want to change that to become the most authentic version of yourself, more power to you. And if you don’t want to change anything about yourself? That’s great too. We have a choice and in ether circumstance, it’s vital to have confidence in yourself.

Aside from having confidence, it’s vital to stop caring about what others think. When you stop caring, you no longer have the desire to live up to anyone else’s unrealistic standards. Life is so much more freeing and joyful. And the messed up part of this is that while people are chasing an idealized perception of perfection, over time you realize that it doesn’t even matter and it never did. Other people are not thinking about you as much as you think. Most people are thinking about themselves and that in itself should make you feel relieved.

In regards to aging, people are so afraid of this and in society, we are told to be. But the reality is that aging is a gift and when you change your perspective, you’ll understand the importance of this. Not everyone gets to age and if you want to look as young as possible for as long as possible, that’s totally fine. It’s ingrained in us but just know that there is nothing wrong with getting older.

For me personally, doing inner work has been helpful in more ways than I can even fathom but it’s been especially helpful in my self-esteem journey. Being kind to others and to ourself is everything. There’s so much more I can say about this and perhaps I’ll share more about my self-love journey in a separate post 😉 Until then, I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts and experience with previous and current beauty standards!

 

 

Unrealistic Beauty Standards Video

 

Prefer to watch the video version of this post? Check it out below!

 

 

What has your experience been with beauty standards (past or present)?
I would really love to hear your thoughts on this! Sending love <3
xo

 

 

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