2025 Reflection: The Most Transformative Year of My Life

2025 will go down as the year that completely broke me… and then rebuilt me.

I started the year off with high hopes, big goals and unwavering positivity. And it truly did seem to start out that way. But even then, it seems that no matter what good intentions we set for ourselves, sometimes the universe has other plans… and no matter how hard we try, it’s out of our hands.

2025 tested me in a lot of ways. Truthfully, I’ve been in survival mode for the majority of the year. I’ve felt so much uncertainty and instability in my life. It’s been incredibly chaotic in every way and as a result, I’ve experienced every feeling you can imagine (sometimes all at once) – joy, sorrow, relief, overwhelm, hope, exhaustion, etc. It’s felt like walking through one long, dark, cold tunnel… without a flashlight, sweater or map. And when I think I’ve made it to the light, I realize that it’s just a puddle with water getting deeper with each step.

I’ve been writing (and re-writing) this post for the better part of a year. I’ve wanted to share everything but I do recognize that it’s been a tough year for many. My main focus for this blog and all of my content has always been to spread positivity, encouragement, and inspiration. I never want to feel like a burden or put my problems on others and as a result, it’s been a pretty isolating and lonely experience. However, I do think that this is one of those situations where I had to do the work on a deep internal level rather than share externally.

This is, by far, the most transformative year that I’ve ever had. As I look back at my unpublished drafts, I can see so much pain, confusion, and heartbreak in the words I wrote. But I also see so much strength, resilience and hope (even when everything had been stripped away). I’ve been to rock bottom before and have come back stronger. But this time, it’s felt like a black hole with no bottom in sight. The only difference is that this time, I wasn’t alone.

My husband has traveled this journey with me and through it we found joy, love and positivity even when it felt non-existent… and that’s because we made it for ourselves. This is the first time that I realized that we don’t have to be defined by our circumstances. We still have a choice and even in the darkest days, a silver lining can be found.

When I think about 2025, I realize that my life has been like a book and each chapter has been so vastly different, yet they’ve built upon one another. And despite what you think, this story isn’t a tragedy. It’s part comedy, part drama, part thriller and part fantasy. And the superhero in this story is… me.

Let’s start from the beginning.

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2025 Reflection: The Most Transformative Year of My Life

The Domino Effect

I met someone in 2024 that had a profound effect on my life. Without knowing the situation in it’s entirety, it may be hard to connect the dots but we’ll get into it shortly because that is the start of this story.

At the beginning of the year, my husband left his job of 16 years to try something new – new industry, new company, new position. This is not something he’s ever done so it was a very big deal. Needless to say, this shift did not work out but not due to lack of trying. He endured so much in his 6 weeks there and was ultimately left feeling defeated and worthless. His confidence immediately disappeared and he began questioning everything about himself, which completely broke my heart. We were gaslit and cheated and unfortunately, found no resolution.

This also put me in a very scary position that I have never been in – the sole provider. I was terrified and honestly, had a hard time believing in myself. The same week that he lost his job, I lost 50% of my income (and this is coming directly after a year where I was scammed out of thousands of dollars). I was distraught. I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life. Not only was I incredibly stressed out, but mentally and emotionally, I was not in a good place. I felt disposable and a lack of humility from people that were supposed to offer basic respect.

Around the same time, things intensified. My husband and I both went through periods of illness. My husband’s was pretty severe and required several doctor visits and prescriptions that we had to pay out of pocket for since we no longer had insurance. And the week after his job loss, we got terrible news that seemed to snowball through the entire year… literally one thing after another – every. single. day.

A Fated Connection

It took me seven years to open up my heart after cutting off family and friends. This year, I took those lessons in discernment and trusting my intuition to complete the most heartbreaking challenge of my life – the closing of a big chapter of my identity.

I can be quite naive and I’ve always felt that most people are ultimately “good.” I do try to see the best in everyone and while I always thought this was a great personality trait, this was also the biggest mistake I made in this situation. Some people are just inherently bad and it’s as simple as that. Even if you want to see the good, it’s important to see the reality of how things and people really are. I know that now.

I’ve faced many narcissists in my life – both in childhood and as I’ve grown up. Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD in therapy and I’ve been slowly working my way through healing ever since. Seeing success in my journey, I thought that I could easily discern others intentions. What I learned is that some people are not narcissists at all but instead, are something far more sinister. And let me tell you, I have never encountered this breed of person before – and I truly hope to never experience this again (and I hope no one else does either).

I approached this person out of genuine kindness. I opened up quickly and this was my biggest mistake. I was blinded and although, the warning signs were there, I ignored them thinking that I was just overthinking it. I will never steamroll my intuition ever again. In a short period of time, everything I shared was used against me.

For no reason at all, this person did everything in their power to try to completely unravel and destroy my life. This includes my marriage, my career, my home, my stability, and my mental, physical, emotion and spiritual health… who I am as a person and my entire future. Literally every aspect of my life. And while I won’t elaborate, this directly ties into my husband’s job loss.

What is even more menacing is that this person has other people fooled. I know that this seems so far fetched and I understand that unless anyone has ever experienced an attack to this degree of their own, they likely won’t believe it or understand the severity and seriousness behind this situation. Please understand that this was not the work of someone that is jealous. This is the work of someone that wanted to knock me down, take over my life, and steal my identity one piece at a time…. just for simply existing.

This was a planned attack that was so malicious, deviant and evil – I cannot even put into words what I experienced. I was stalked like prey and they used the ammunition I gave them to try to bring me down. I will never understand why someone, a complete stranger, would do this to someone else for no reason. But I will give credit where credit is due. This person is highly intelligent, skilled, cunning and incredibly manipulative. This plan was constructed with such mastery and precision right in front of my eyes and I didn’t see it until the damage had already been done. And after completely cutting them off, this person continued to rub salt in the wound in any way possible…. just to do it (and they still continue to do it almost one year later).

I’m in close proximity so I can’t “get away” from them but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I have severed all ties. And while I know this person has been sleeping with one eye open, I’m just trusting that karma will take it’s course. Paranoia is karma in itself… and one wouldn’t be paranoid unless they knew they did something wrong. I don’t have to do anything at all but I trust that the scales will be balanced.

And even after everything, I didn’t feel vengeful in the slightest. I felt pity – pity that someone has to feel so badly about themselves that they would try to disarm a complete stranger. I am still traumatized but I don’t feel victimized. Strangely, I feel immense gratitude because this person awakened something within both myself and my husband that may have never happened.

They came into my life to destroy me but ultimately changed me in a way that I never thought I could be changed. I always believed that there was a reason for the things that happened and for the people that came into our lives. I thought that maybe this was a test for using my intuition and not going back into old patterns with narcissistic personalities. Looking back with a clear lens, I think that perhaps that was a small part but ultimately, this situation completely changed the trajectory of my life in the best way.

Call it a karmic connection or call it fate – this situation and this person was the catalyst I needed to finally heal my lifelong wounds. When I look back in the future, this year and this situation will be one of the most pivotal of my entire life. I will never be the same. At first, I wanted to forget but now I understand that this was meant to be. After all, there would be no “me” without this person so to them, I want to say “Thank you.”

Thank you for allowing me to grow in a way that I never have before.

Thank you for confirming that my past decisions were the right ones.

Thank you for giving me strength to believe in myself to get through anything.

Thank you for bringing our marriage even closer and for making our path together more clear.

Thank you for opening up my eyes to greater possibilities and showing me how valuable I am.

Thank you for clearing the path for more abundance in every aspect of our life.

Thank you for finally allowing me to let go of the old me and giving me the courage to embrace a new era of myself.

Grieving

This year brought about a lot loss – income, stability, identity, and more. It felt like every time we turned around something new was happening. The INFJ in me wants everything to have a deeper meaning but sometimes… it just is.

I grieved the physical loss of multiple friends, family members and beloved pets. One was a good friend from childhood, which hit me pretty hard. It symbolic for so many reasons. It reminded me of my “old self,” my innocence and it reopened old wounds from a previous friend’s passing. I always try to make sense with situations like these but they rarely ever do.

And throughout the year, we’ve been dealing with a terminally ill close family member after receiving devastating news earlier this year. We’ve had to navigate several different roles while just trying to get through each day. I recently got news of someone else I used to be very close to… except we are estranged so it hits differently. This is something we are still going through so we’re taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best <3

All of this has made both my husband and I think of our own mortality. It’s really solidified our priorities and how some things need to shift. We’ve had to think about a lot of things that never came up before and it’s been a bittersweet revelation.

Shared Dreams

This is 100% the most transformational year of my life and I would also say this is true for my husband. Although our transformations have been different, they’ve been complimentary so we’re learning together as we navigate. Mine has been heavily internal while his has focused on the external.

While losing his new job was difficult for many reasons, it was a blessing. Had it not happened, he would have been stuck. Instead, this opened up an entirely new door for him that he didn’t realize he wanted. He discovered that his hopes and dreams were, in fact, possible. For the first time, he felt excited, energized and motivated… and this made my heart so happy because this is truly all I could ever wish for him.

For me, this situation started to heal my relationship with money and a scarcity mindset. It completely healed my belief in myself and showed me what is possible. I feel like I kept my husband stuck for a long time because I didn’t think I could make it work temporarily as a sole provider. But I did it. And I’m not scared anymore because I know I can do it again. Except this time, it will be on our terms (and hopefully better planned haha!).

The way this happened leads me to believe that it was orchestrated in divine timing. We were forced into numerous situations that were out of our control and it not only healed old wounds but it opened our eyes. I’m so grateful for that because this year was a massive turning point for both of us personally and professionally.

Creating Boundaries & Seeing My Worth

Last year, I spoke on how hard it was to manage my time with unrealistic expectations, deadlines and making decisions out of stress, fear and anxiety. At the end of 2024, I did a deep drive into everything and realized that I was severely selling myself short and burning myself out in order to appease everyone. I had the best intentions moving into 2025 to prioritize my time, my worth and myself. Unfortunately, it didn’t pan out with my husband’s job loss. But it did manifest in an unexpected way.

I had some eye-opening moments in 2024 professionally. And this past year amplified them much more. In 2024, I mentioned that I had faith that the right partners would find me and the not-so-right ones would fall away. I didn’t realize that it meant 50% of them.

A funny thing happened when I went through so many different circumstances this year. I really began to see my value and worth in a way that I never did before. Early on last year, I was heartbroken by some of the circumstances with losing my income. For the first time in my career, I felt disposable. This was incredibly devastating because it was done in the most disrespectful way by people I had been loyal to for many years.

I didn’t understand it at the time because I was in such a vulnerable and fearful state but looking back, I can see it clearly. This comes back to my perception of others. I wanted to see humility, compassion and loyalty from others because this is what I give with no strings attached. I was met with something so completely different and this is when I realized that we no longer align with our morals, values and intentions.

Just because I would do something a certain way, doesn’t mean that other people would. And truthfully, they don’t owe me anything. The difference now is that I realized that I don’t owe anyone anything either. In fact, sometimes I feel like reinforcing my boundaries, especially as a former people pleaser, has painted me as the villain in someone else’s story… and for the first time in my life, I’m okay with that.

This year changed me as a person to my core. So the things that no longer were in alignment with the new me had to fall away. This is part of the process. I have faith that the right things will come into my life <3

Unbothered Queen: Putting Myself First

If I could sum myself up right now, it would be IDGAF. 2025 was the year that I truly stopped caring about other people’s thoughts, opinions, etc. I finally finally FINALLY said good riddance to my people pleasing ways. It has taken me 7 years of healing and one year of therapy to finally get to a place of feeling worthy. I’ve never felt so confident before. This is all so new to me!

Previously, I had incredibly low-self esteem ingrained in me from a young age. I was made fun of, bullied and made to feel less than. I had to undo a lot of the damage that other people caused. Therefore, I have not allowed other people to influence the decisions I make or the path I choose. After all, what they think of me is none of my business.

This was the last year that I put others ahead of me. I always try to come from a place of compassion, kindness and care but now I know that many others do not share these traits. Even with the best intentions, somehow I always manage to get taken advantage of. So now, I will meet people where they meet me – I will match the energy I’m given.

This is the year where I really had nothing left to lose… because I had nearly lost everything already. It really put things into perspective and showed me that I can still be a kind, caring and compassionate person but honestly… not everyone deserves that. When I put others ahead of me, it kept pushing me further down. Not only will I move forward with self-love but I’ll continue to do it with integrity.

The Full Circle Moments

There were a two full circle moments that stood out to me the most. As I mentioned, I cut off my family 7 years ago. I knew that we would eventually run into each other but I could never imagine how I’d feel when the time came. I grieved all of those relationships and now, I’ve come out the other side fully healed and transformed. That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I stand by that.

Midway through the year, I saw “my narcissist” at a funeral. I decided to test myself by going up to this person and saying hello. That was it – a quick “Hello! How are you?” And you know what? I didn’t feel anything at all. No fear, no stress, no anxiety, absolutely nothing. Instead, I looked at the person that had caused so much emotional and mental damage and felt something so unexpected – compassion and pity.

My work with boundaries has proven to be so valuable this year. Previously, I would have tried to see the best in people but now I understand some people are just not capable of change. I cannot change them no matter how much I want to. It doesn’t matter how much it breaks my heart seeing the potential of what could be. The reality is that it never was and I’m finally seeing things for what they are. Those negative thoughts and patterns are finally replaced with so many good things that I would have never received had I stayed.

The second full circle moment was my high school reunion. In school, I was bullied, made fun of and just made to feel absolutely worthless by certain individuals. I never let it get me down at the time but I carried the pain and scars for many years. I didn’t go to my first reunion but I decided last minute to attend this one as I was genuinely interested in seeing classmates and old friends. I thought I would feel a sense of nostalgia but instead, I felt completely out of place… like I didn’t belong.

Even after watching Romy & Michele to mentally prepare (lol!), I was still pretty anxious to see my bullies in the flesh after so many years. But when I did, I felt absolutely nothing. The anxiety, fear and stress dissolved. Some people had changed but it seemed like a majority were largely the same (which is totally fine, of course). But I think that this is the reason that I felt like a complete stranger. It was the defining moment that made me realize that I had changed on such a deep level. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. But it gave me to opportunity to see how much I’ve grown, especially over the last year.

I don’t seek validation anymore… because I truly don’t need it. My validation comes from within – I am strong, resilient, wise and worthy. I don’t feel the need to justify my actions or decisions… because I know who I am and what I want. I don’t allow other people to make me feel bad about myself anymore. People no longer have a say in how I feel about myself. And finally, I can allow myself to shine brightly without feeling like I have to dim my light. This event was symbolic in so many ways for the ending of this era.

Finding My Purpose & Seeing the Bigger Picture

In life, I always knew that my purpose was to help others. I didn’t know how this would be fulfilled but I’ve always felt it so deeply. I also LOVED fashion and KNEW in my bones that this was part of my life purpose in a very big way. I always thought that this meant going the more traditional route and becoming a designer but I also remained open to what life had to offer and this is one of my greatest blessings.

I always longed to find the place where I belonged but could never quite find it. I’ve always felt like an outcast. Even if it didn’t show on the outside, it certainly felt like it on the inside.

My blogging journey happened so organically – at the right time, when I needed it the most. Unlike everything related to my fashion design journey, nothing ever felt forced. It just unravelled like it was meant to be. But still, I questioned it. I didn’t understand how I could fulfill my purpose through this. I just wanted a creative outlet, to quietly share my passion for all things beautiful, and ultimately, find a way to connect with others during a time when I was very lonely.

Over time, I’ve come to realize that I’m such an over-thinker. I didn’t want to be thought of as vain and I didn’t know if I could help people in a way that wasn’t tangible. Now I know that it doesn’t always have to be so literal. When passion comes from a place of authenticity, it still serves a purpose. Until now, it’s never been more clear to me. I’m already living my higher purpose. While I may never see the waves that I create from what I share, I can only hope that they are there.

I’m starting to see why things happened the way they did. Why certain circumstances happened at a certain time and why the coincidences that followed unfolded precisely the way that they did. I’m also starting to think that it wasn’t a coincidence at all – it was fate. Maybe God and the universe knew what my heart wanted and needed… and it’s only become evident this year.

Gaining Clarity

I’m a hopeful person that loves to dream, but I’m also realistic. Year after year, I thought that “this is the one – this is the year I’ve been waiting for.” But it never came. Instead, I’m looking back and seeing a culmination of lesson after lesson after lesson building upon each other… converging at the same time… right now.

Maybe there is a reason I have been given the gifts I have been given – my love of beauty, creativity and seeing the world through rose colored lenses. My unwavering positivity, hope and resilience. My integrity and authentic heart. We are all so full of unique characteristics, skills, knowledge and experiences that build us into the person that we are meant to be. Even then, we are constantly shifting, evolving and transforming.

For a while, I was lost. I felt like nothing I did worked anymore. I lost inspiration to write, create and share. I didn’t see the deeper purpose behind what I was doing. I felt that some might see it as vain, shallow or materialistic. But truly, it comes from my heart. It comes from my passion. It’s what makes me feel like me.

A few years ago, I shifted my business completely and for a while, it worked better than I could have ever imagined. But what I’m realizing is that in this industry, evolving is a MUST – whether this is through trends, learning new skills, or subtle reinvention. For so long, I fought this. I can be so stubborn sometimes. I didn’t see anything wrong with how I did things or who I was. Call it maturity or wisdom but now I see that I can still remain authentic while evolving in this industry and as a person. I’ve come to a crossroad and truthfully, I feel like I’ve been close to it for a few years but I just wasn’t ready to take the leap.

2025 has really solidified so many things for me – how everything perfectly fell apart then aligned for me to even start this at the time I did…. while keeping integrity, authenticity and passion as central pillars in my business. Seeing how every single circumstance and lesson I’ve learned has built upon one another to perfectly converge here in this moment. I was lost for a long time but now I feel like I am exactly where I need to be and that divine timing has been on my side the entire time, through the good and the “bad.” I’ve learned and integrated these lessons for longevity because it’s part of my high purpose. I feel confident and powerful – two words I would have never associated with myself before.

I’m also learning to give myself grace. It’s hard to let go of things as a type A personality but I realize that I don’t have to know where I’m going to be in 5 or 10 years. I don’t even have to know where I’m going to be next year. Goals are important, of course, but I am also open to unexpected opportunities that come my way. The beauty in life is that sometimes it’s more exciting to just be along for the ride rather than forcing and controlling every situation (and trust me, I’ve come from the latter).

Identity Shift: My Transformation Era

I’ve been speaking about this for the last four years. I’ve been feeling a strong need to declutter but I never understood why as it was so intuitive. After seeing everything come full circle this year, I understand the need. 2025 was the end of an era and the beginning of a new one – a healthier, more loving era. And now that I’m entering that new era, I need to leave the old one behind. I’ve never felt this so strongly in my life but now I finally feel ready.

My big decluttering journey began three years ago. I’ve decluttered my closet, my makeup, my home, my life. However, this instance feels so different because it’s not just about the clutter. Some things no longer feel like me because they aren’t. It’s not about fit or style or quality. It’s about association. I plan to start off the new year with the biggest and most meaningful declutter I’ve ever done.

The same can be said about Lizzie in Lace. I’ve been forever changed, which means that Lizzie in Lace will have to evolve with me. I’m still trying to understand what this means fully but I have an idea. I’m decluttering parts that no longer align to make room for those that do – a new mindset, new ideas, new processes, new skills.

This is the beginning of the era that I’ve always wanted for Lizzie in Lace. I never knew how to make it a reality and I still don’t but this time, I’m not afraid to move forward and try. Not much will change on the content front and while it may not be noticed right away, eventually everything will be more refined and authentic to who I am now and who I want to be. My internal world will finally mesh with my external world.

Outfit Details:

JessaKae Purple Floral Dress (use lizzieinlace for 15% off) | Kate Spade Heart Bag | Pearl Headband (similar – use LIZZIE10 for 10% off) | Pearl Kate Spade Necklace (similar) | Sequin Jewelry Pearl Bracelet (Use LIZZIEINLACE20 for 20% off!) | Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick | Luxy Hair Extensions ((Use LIZZIEINLACE10 for 10% off!)) | 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Let’s go back to the tunnel. While it’s still cold and dark, I haven’t been traveling alone. I can feel my husband’s hand in mine. I can feel his warmth as he hugs me. The silence has been filled with joyful songs… and I can finally see the light. It’s brighter than before – sparkling, shimmering and so beautiful. I’ve left a chapter of my life and my old self behind – still so grateful and so proud, but ready and excited to see what lies ahead. I’m not mapping everything out this time. I’m excited to see what the world has to offer and where this journey takes us.

2025 has truly been a GIFT. With the publication of this post, I’m letting go of everything from my old era and embracing the new one. This is an era of courage, creativity, refinement, reinvention, excitement, joy, glamour, adventure, love, positivity, and realized dreams.

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey and being such a vital part of my healing, confidence and clarity. I’m truly so grateful – more than you know <3 And I’m wishing for all of you to have so many beautiful and amazing things in this life. Thank you for your friendship, support, and encourage always.

Cheers to the new year (and a new era)!