Top c/o (love this and this) | Skirt (best seller! I’m wearing the petite – also available in light pink, yellow and blue) c/o | LC Lauren Conrad Heels (old – similar here) | BaubleBar Necklace (sold out – similar here) c/o
The past few days were insane. Thursday was just one of those days (ha!) and my mom ended up in the hospital on Friday for emergency surgery. She is feeling so much better (thank you for all of your positive thoughts!), but it made for a really long and exhausting weekend.
Anyway, last month I kicked off the Motivation Monday series with my post about perfection. It seems like a lot of you shared the same thoughts and have been through this struggle yourself. Today, I’m talking about something that I feel really strongly about…knowing your self worth.
Being confident and loving yourself is the absolute hardest and most consistent thing I’ve struggled with throughout my life. I’ve always admired those who are confident in themselves and wondered what sort of magic they possess to feel this way. I think my struggle stems back to when I was younger and was told various “lies” that ended becoming truths in my eyes: my hair was “too thin,” my thighs were “too big,” my height was “too short,” my teeth were “too large,” my eyes were “too small”, etc. It wasn’t only my physical traits (that I couldn’t change, by the way) that were in question, but who I was on the inside too. I was always told that my dreams weren’t ever going to come true and that since I decided to major in art rather than something more traditional, that I was destined to be unemployed for the rest of my life and would never amount to anything. I don’t think people realize the power of their words (especially those very close to us). They don’t know it, but those words, intentional or not, are hard to decipher and always end up haunting us years later. I think this is a very important lesson in itself. Something small to you could be something huge for someone else and something you say can drastically change the way someone feels about something and make them question everything. Always be kind with your words.
One thing that has really held me back in the confidence department is the big S word – shy. This word almost always comes up when people describe me, which is funny because it’s almost contradictory to the other words that people use when describing me. I will admit that yes, I do get uncomfortable in large group settings or when I meet someone that I feel intimidated by but I never knew that this was such a bad thing. People say “shy” like it’s a dirty word and I’m often looked down upon by others because of this idea that they have about me that may or may not be true. Is shyness a trait that some of us are born with or is something that is developed over time for fear of being criticized by others? I like to think the latter is true. For example, I went to a large group gathering a year ago in an effort to make new friends. I was already completely out of my comfort zone and even more so because I barely knew these people, but they all knew each other. The conversations that I initiated resulted in nothing more than small talk. I ended up alone on the other side of the room with my head buried in my phone feeling defeated. The thing is is that I had met with these women a couple times prior and was constantly asked why I was “so shy” and “quiet,” which made me even more uncomfortable. What if I’m shy because that is what other people labeled me as? What if I actually had a good amount of self-confidence before people started telling me otherwise? The things people say and do can change the way others react. The good thing is that we don’t have to be a product of other people’s thoughts. We are in charge of showing the world who we truly are.
So how can you be more confident in yourself and know your self worth?
7 TIPS TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH:
Stop Caring What Other People Think
This is so simple, yet so difficult. You cannot be your true self if other people are telling you who they think you are. The trouble with this is that we often believe it and it becomes our reality, even subconsciously. If you don’t care about what other people think, you can let your true personality shine which in turn will draw the right people toward you.
Change Your Attitude
The first step in seeing your self worth is to change your attitude and outlook on everything. If you are clinging to the idea that someone has made you out to be rather than the person you truly are, you are missing out. If you have negative feelings about yourself, you will never be happy and will always be picking yourself apart. It’s SO important to have a positive attitude in everything you do. This not only makes us more pleasant to be around, but also helps us continue to grow in so many ways. Attitude is the key to success.
Surround Yourself with Positive People That Lift You Up
It’s true that misery loves company and we often become a product of those we spend the most time with. Not only can negativity be draining, but it can also be detrimental to our health and well-being. Negative people like to pick themselves and others apart and if this is with whom you spend your time with, it’s only a matter of time before you pick up on these same behaviors. Instead, trying spending your time with positive people that cheer you on, support your dreams and celebrate your successes. Your behavior will end up mirroring theirs making you a much happier person in the long run.
Value Your Time
These days it seems that everyone wants a piece of our time. The thing is is that our time is most valuable thing because we don’t get it back. We may think we are doing good by constantly helping others, but if we leave no time for ourself to do the things we love, then we end up feeling resentment. Saying no to requests does not make you a bad person…it makes you a smart person and leaves more time to say “yes” to the things that you love. Remember that your time is priceless.
Body language says a lot about a person without them having to say anything. Slumping your shoulders, looking down at the floor and crossing your arms tells people that you are insecure. Instead, sit up straight, walk tall, look people in the eye and SMILE. I should also note that what you wear can have an effect on this as well. If your outfit is ill-fitting, too tight or loose, too short or long or uncomfortable in any way, it’s creates insecurity. Make sure you wear something that fits well and makes you feel confident and beautiful. This one small change can make a huge difference.
Remember that you are not defined by what you do, but who you are. It’s important to be a kind person to others, but even more important to be kind to yourself. Know that you are not perfect (no one is) and be okay with it. Know that you are beautiful on the inside and out. Know that you ARE good enough and can do anything you set your mind to. If this is hard for you (which it likely is), write and post positive notes about yourself in a well-trafficked area to act as a daily reminder of how amazing you are!
Above all, LOVE yourself. Truly. You were created entirely different from everyone else…your personality, your body, your face, everything. No one else is like you and never will be. You are truly unique and deserve recognition like everyone else. If you don’t love the person that you are, how can you expect others to feel the same?
Do you have any other tips to add to help with your self worth?
Hope you have a great start to your week!